Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here on Monday and Tuesday. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair.


"We are called human beings, not human doings."
Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

"The way to do is to be."

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs..(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."
Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Home from Hospital

Dear friends,

I am home from the hospital. The ablation procedure went well, according to the cardiologist. We won't know for awhile whether it works in terms of keeping me out of a-fib, but I am hopeful. I am not feeling as bad as they told me I would. I have no pain and no pain meds--just some discomfort in my chest and groin (where the catheters were inserted).

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers and kind words. I feel very loved and very blessed.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Monday Musings: preparing for procedure

I am going to take this week to reflect and prepare for the heart ablation I will have next Monday. After the procedure, I will come back here and let you all know how everything went. In the meantime, I will miss all of you. Be well.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Insecure Writers Support Group - November

Thanks once again to Alex at alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com for creating the Insecure Writers Support Group. To find the list of members, check out Alex's blog. We are a group of writers to gather together on the first Wednesday of the month to share our thoughts and feelings and progress in our writing journey.

After my heart procedure on 11/17, I am going to hit the deck running to get my novel published. I really wish I could hire someone to do this for me. I just don't want to spend money that way. I'd rather spend it on editing services and illustration, if I have to self-publish. I've already spent quite a bit on editing and it was worth every cent. So I just have to suck it up and do it. One step at a time. First, write the query. Then the synopsis. Then pick sample chapters. How do you do that, by the way? Do you do the first two or three?

I hated writing papers in school and that is what this feels like. Someone suggested I don't judge the process. Assume it will be all right with some aspects being more fun than others. I worked too hard on this book to not give it my best to get it out in the world. Hopefully, my energy will return after I recover from the ablation. Then I will do just that--give it my best shot.

How about you?

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Telling the Truth Tuesday: I'm scared

I am having a procedure called an ablation. Under general anesthesia, they insert a catheter up through the groin into the left atrium and cauterize to create scarring so that when the pulmonary vein misfires, triggering a-fib, it can't penetrate the scar so the heart rhythm is unaffected by the misfires.
It works in 80% of the people. The other 20% have some other contributing factors going on and more procedures must be done to fix those. I am praying I am in the 80%. The medicine I am on also had an 80% success rate and it hasn't worked, so it's hard for me to have a positive attitude. Instead, I am working on having no expectations - just putting one foot in front of the other, trying to get back to normal with my heart. The good news is I am not depressed. I am just nervous, as anyone would be facing an invasive procedure like this.

Do you believe in having a positive attitude and than possibly facing disappointment? Or having a negative attitude and than being surprised by a positive result? Or do you, like me, try to have no expectations and maintain an even keel?


Monday, November 3, 2014

Monday Musings: Fall/New Beginnings

This past weekend the clocks moved back an hour, signaling Fall. The turning of the leaves always marks the beginning of Fall for me, though. This year, they turned quite late here in New Mexico, since the temperature reached the 70s by the afternoon. September is Rosh Hoshana, the Jewish New Year. It is also when the school year begin back East, where I grew up. I loved preparing for the new school semester: buying new pencils, notebooks, pens, all the new textbooks, new teachers, new friends.

Now, at 65, it is more challenging to face new beginnings. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have them. Here is my new beginning for this Fall: After my heart procedure on 11/17, I am going to begin researching small presses to publish my novel. That means I must write a query letter, synopsis, and select sample chapters. I must also begin a chart to track where and when I send a package out. I am
going to be gentle with myself with this process. I am going to set a time limit of say six months. If I am not successful by then, I will self-publish.

What does Fall mean for you?

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Telling the Truth Tuesday: Sometimes I take the easy way out

Yesterday I wrote about how I wasn't lazy, but maybe I am. Because sometimes I take the easy way out. I'll say yes to something right in front of me and maybe that's not the best option, yet it's the easiest because it's right in front of me. If I don't take that option, I have to search further for the right one. I don't think this is related to being older either. I think this thing about wanting things to be easy has been with me for a long time. When the going gets tough, I want to stop going. But I don't stop, even if I want to. When I went back to college in my 50s to get my four-year degree, I wanted to quit every damned day. I didn't. Instead, I graduated Summa Cum Laude. I'm not saying that to brag, because I still don't quite believe it myself that I did so well.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if I want to take the easy way out with publishing my book, there is no such thing. There is hard work in writing a query, a synopsis, researching appropriate small publishers, mailing the packets, following up, etc. If I choose to avoid that and self-publish, there is hard work in finding an illustrator, getting help with formatting and distribution, etc. I cannot avoid the hard work, no matter which route I take. So I must take my time figuring out what is the right choice for this story. And just bite the freakin' bullet and do it.


Monday, October 27, 2014

Monday Musings: I'm stuck

I'm stuck. I know I won't stay stuck, but stuck I am. I just don't want to do what I have to do to get my book published. Maybe it's that all of my energy is going into thinking about the ablation procedure I am going to have on 11/17 for my heart. Maybe I'm still recovering from writing the thing in the first place. It did, after all, take five years. Maybe I'm lazy all of a sudden, even though that is one character flaw I've never had. Whatever the reason, I'm just trying to wait it out. Wait for the energy to shift. Wait for the inspiration to take those first baby steps towards publishing.
How about you? Do you find it hard to do what you don't want to do?

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