Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My surgery has been postponed until April 7, so I have a little time to reflect. Getting my book published and sending it out into the universe is a monumental achievement. Now I need to practice letting go each and every day. Letting go of attachment to results, letting go of attachment to needing a certain response from someone, letting go of attachment to someone else's emotional well-being. The list goes on.

My memoir chronicles my journey from having no sense of self to becoming comfortable inside my own skin--from being unable to stand or speak up for myself to speaking my truth. Recently that ability has been tested. I hired an advertising person to create a 1 minute ad about "Following the Whispers" to place on YouTube. We met to discuss creative concepts and agreed on one. He said the project could be completed in 10 hours and we set a price.

When he sent me the first few frames of the ad, I was horrified. The images were awful, the sound effects grim and the overall effect of the piece did not reflect me or my book at all. When I said I wasn't happy with it, the advertising person said he's already spent close to the 10 hours we'd agreed upon. I was faced with having to spend more money, which I wasn't willing to do, or accept what he had created. He told me it would take too long to start from scratch.

A few days later, he suggested we do an exchange of services, rather than a money exchange. I agreed. I was told he had already spent approximately 26 hours on my project. He never asked me if it was okay to go past the 10 hours we'd agreed upon. I didn't say anything. I just said I would begin working on creating a marketing plan for his business (my piece of the exchange agreement).

When I showed the finished ad to a friend who has been in advertising for many years, he said,"Karen, this is awful. It's unprofessional. The voices are hard to hear. It doesn't reflect you or your book. Don't use it."

As soon as he said those words, I knew that was my truth about the ad as well. I had been unwilling to admit it to myself, because then I would have to tell the truth to the advertising person as well. And I didn't want to hurt his feelings or create a conflict in the working relationship.

Ah, the sense of relief when I finally do acknowledge the reality. Now I have a meeting arranged where I will speak my truth. I will say it as gently and lovingly as I can, but I can't control his reactions. I will take responsibility for my part in the situation, i.e. not saying up front that I was unhappy with the execution and that it needed to be changed. But I am not responsible for his response.

I'll keep you posted on the outcome.



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