Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Overcoming the effects of childhood sexual abuse
In my memoir, "Following the Whispers," the reader journeys with me from childhood to present time as I seek to rid myself of the personality and character traits which developed as a result of being abused, and create a fulfilling life. One of the most damaging effects of child abuse has been an inability to stand up for myself without guilt or worry about whether someone will still like or love me. Oftentimes, a feeling of shame would overcome me, even though my behavior was not out of line or bad.
Somewhere I read that when we feel guilty, we believe we have done something bad; whereas when we feel shame, we believe we are bad. Shame makes us feel something is fundamentally wrong with ourselves.
That was true for most of my life. For many years, saying “no” was damn near impossible. Hating how I look, another one of the effects of child abuse, has thankfully shifted to loving acceptance. "Following the Whispers" illustrates these and other effects of child abuse, which impacted not only me, but all my relationships.The key to overcoming effects of child abuse is not slipping into a victim mentality. Awareness and acceptance of the impact this had on my life has allowed me to face the consequences and move forward towards healing and wholeness.
To read more about shame and its impact on children, check out this website: http://www.goddirect.org/mindemtn/writings/january/toxshame.htm