My hubby is comfortable. He loves and accepts me no matter what I say or do (and believe me I've tested him, poor thing). My friendships are mostly comfortable. There are a few that require some discomfort sometimes, such as when I have to speak up to defend myself or someone else.
Mostly, my life is comfortable. My having published a memoir now requires me to step out of my comfort zone in order to promote it. This means speaking to strangers about myself and my life and my work. If I were giving a talk, this wouldn't be out of my comfort zone. But one on one, at a bookstore, for example, it would be.
I had to ask myself: what is the discomfort about? Here is what I came up with:
- They will be rude to me and just walk away
- Worse, they'll yell at me for accosting them
- I'll be humiliated and embarrassed in front of others
- They'll say, "Who are you to think I should buy your book?"
What if these things happened? Would I die? No. Would I survive the humiliation? You bet I would. Would I be able to stand up for myself if someone started yelling at me? That's questionable - it depends on the day and my mood that day.
As to the last question, my answer would be simple. My intention in writing my book was to help others dealing with similar issues to mine. I've overcome a lot of pain in my life and I've put it down on paper. That's who I am.
Role-playing worst-case fears helps me see that there really is nothing for me to be afraid of. Stepping out of my comfort zone just might place me further along the path of who I'm becoming.