Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Going with the Flow

Life is life and it sometimes throws us curve balls when we're expecting fast balls (can't believe I'm using a baseball metaphor). Growing up in a dysfunctional family where nothing was as you would expect and you never knew when you'd get slammed or when your dad would start screaming over something he'd never reacted to before, I had a tremendous need to control my environment, to try to fix everything and everyone around me, to maintain status quo.

It took years for me to understand that those things are simply not possible. The 12-step programs have a slogan they call the 3C's: I didn't cause it; I can't control it; and I can't cure it. The it refers to alcoholism, but it applies to many other things in life as well.

I had a girl-trip planned with one of my closest friends, one of my sisters of the heart. We were going to spend a few days in Seattle and then three days on Orcas Island in the San Juans. But her 88-year-old mom has pneumonia for the upteenth time and is just not recovering this time around. We've cancelled our trip, although I'm still planning to go to Portland, OR for 10 days. But I've told my friends there I might have to cancel if something happens or I might have to come home early.

It's a hard lesson to learn to go with the flow. It means not being emotionally attached. It means being flexible. It means being able to alter things in an instant. Life can change in a moment. Going with the flow allows me to make the spiritual, emotional and physical shifts required when that happens.


Joanne said...

It isn't always easy, going with the flow, but sometimes the current brings you to surprising places you hadn't expected. It's good you'll make the trip to Portland regardless ... "Alter things in an instant," and treat yourself, stop at local bookstores, random coffee shops, enjoy!

Galen Kindley--Author said...

I think the point you made about the three Cs is a good one. It's applicable to lots things in life. Good to remember.

Best Regards, Galen

Helen Ginger said...

But you've also learned that emotional attachments can be good. You clearly have a bond with your "sister of the heart" since you've already made the decision to cut your trip short and come home if she needs you. I hope you have a great time on your trip and I hope you take care of yourself.

Straight From Hel

Anonymous said...

In Zen I learned the principle of and freedom in being free of attachments. The Buddha said that desire and attachment are the root cause of all suffering.

The Old Silly From Free Spirit Blog

Linda said...

I find that going with the flow, while one of the hardest things to do, it is also one of the most rewarding.
P.S. Let me know if you come to Seattle. We could get together!

Patricia Stoltey said...

I'm with Marvin on this one. One attachment we often have is to past offenses against us. This hobbles us. By writing your book, you have made positive use of your experiences and, as a result, should know what you learned (because we learn something from every good or bad incident in our lives). You realize, I hope, that you have plenty of material now for more books to inspire and uplift the readers who still wear their shackles.