Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Telling the Truth Tuesday

I think I screwed up. Remember the relationship with a teacher that had become toxic? I tried to take the high road when I communicated with her about resigning. But it has deteriorated into an email volley of blame, accusations and judgments that are just awful, and I am partly to blame. I hate it that at the ripe old age of 60, I still fall into traps that cause me to behave in ways I don't feel particularly good about. The good news is that the relationship is now definitely over and there will be no more contact, thus no more opportunity for verbal attacks. The bad news is that I can't undue the harsh things I said in response to being what I felt was attacked.

It no longer matters who was right or who was wrong. What matters is me being able to be the loving, kind person I think I am most of the time and trying to figure out what happened that made me behave in ways I'm not proud of.

Blessings,
Karen

10 comments:

Joanne said...

I think it also matters that you're looking at the situation, trying to understand it, to learn from it. Even terrible situations like this help us to grow in some way, if we do what you're doing. So I tip my hat to you for seeking a deeper understanding.

N A Sharpe said...

I am proud to call you a friend. It is not easy to look on what has become a bad situation and to learn from it, which you are definitely trying to do. I am sorry to hear the relationship/friendship has ended with so much pain, but am happy to hear that at least the pain from it has concluded and you can now begin to work on moving in other directions. Blessings to you, Karen.

Nancy, from Realms of Thought…

Patricia Stoltey said...

I'm sorry you're suffering over this, Karen. But you're only human. Anger happens.

Way back in the days of letter-writing with pen and paper, and then on the typewriter, my mother encouraged me to write letters to pour out my feelings, and then to tear up the letters and throw them away. So much easier that way...

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

It's only natural to defend yourself during an attack. Think of it that way...then try to put it behind you. Patricia's method works well, I think. Best to you...

Elizabeth

Galen Kindley--Author said...

You know, another way to look at this is from the perspective of 6 months from now. Bet it looks like a fly speck then. Not trying to minimize the validity of your feelings, just trying to provide perspective. I try never to be overwhelmed by what I call, "The enormity of the Moment." Seems like I always make bad choices if I allow that to happen.

Best regards, Galen

Imagineering Fiction Blog

Helen Ginger said...

You know it's better to be out of the situation. It had gone really haywire until both sides were hurting. There may be, for a long time, a nugget of residual pain, but it's time to heal and close the door. It sounds like you're ready to do that. Let go of it in both your mind and your soul. You'll find peace.

Helen
Straight From Hel

The Practical Preserver said...

Sometimes in spite of what you're trying to accomplish, it just doesn't work. There's a great line in The Man from Snowy River: "Don't throw effort after foolishness." Some words of wisdom I've relied on from time to time.

The sun will come up today. And tomorrow. Life goes on and so will you, sadder perhaps but always wiser.

Marvin D Wilson said...

Truth and honesty with yourself is ALWAYS the best policy, eh?

The Old Silly

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I think that some people simply bring out the worst in us and that only solution, as you have done, is to cut off communication. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Karen Walker said...

I am so grateful to have met all of you. Thank you so much for these heartfelt comments and words of wisdom. I am putting it behind me and moving forward.
Blessings,
Karen