Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Mom fell Friday morning. Didn't break anything, thank goodness, but banged herself up pretty good. There went my day. Had to drop everything and go up there, take her to the doctor, get x-rays, rent a wheelchair, pack her up and bring her to our house, because she couldn't take care of herself. We had to take her with us wherever we went, because we couldn't leave her home alone. She finally got the hang of a walker, but we didn't trust her to use it if we weren't there and we couldn't risk her falling again, which was probable.
Fast-forward to Monday. We took her back to her place and spent a few hours making sure she could do everything she needed to do on her own. I didn't feel comfortable leaving her alone, but she wanted to give it a try. So we left her, after several lengthy talks about the need to use the walker for everything. That she was very unsteady on her feet and needed the walker for balance.
This morning, when I called her, as I do every morning, she told me she was doing fine. And that she was even managing to do some things without the walker. I had to get off the phone before I exploded. Everything she does or doesn't do impacts me. If she can't find the needle for her needle point, I have to figure out how to help her. If she falls again, it will be me taking her to the hospital or doctor. So how do I allow her the independence she so craves and deserves, and still try to prevent things from happening. I know I can't control her, much as I'd like to. But I'm living on pins and needles for the next phone call with the next problem or crisis that will once again disrupt my day and my life.
This sounds so selfish as I'm writing. Guess the only thing for me to do is work on myself and my attitude. I can try not to project into the future and stay in the moment. For right now, she is fine and I have this day for myself to use as I see fit. I'm off for my morning walk now.
Till next time,