We always have choices. Do I want meat or fish? If I want fish, what kind do I want: salmon, tuna, shrimp? How hungry am I? Do I just need a small snack or a full meal? What do I feel like doing? Am I in the mood for a movie, music, hanging out with friends? If it's friends, who do I want to spend this particular time with?
All these choices, if I am really present and paying attention, force me to check in with myself to see what I need. Tuning in to my body is a new experience. I've been alive on this planet for 60 years, but it is only now that my awareness of my body is so prevalent. As a victim of early childhood sexual abuse, I learned early on to numb my body. My senses were also dulled. Often I felt as I imagine a mummy might feel.
Yesterday I had plans to visit an 83-year-old friend. I hadn't seen her in quite awhile. She doesn't get out much any more and seems to really enjoy my company. But I'd had a very busy day on Monday and didn't get any writing done. That didn't feel good. So Tuesday morning, I tuned in. What I really needed was to remain at home, in my jammies, assimilating the workshop experience from Sunday and opening myself up to the next phase of that journey.
Hard phone call to make, telling my friend I wasn't coming. Boy, this business of standing up for myself sure is making its presence felt in my life these days. But it was so absolutely the right thing for me to do, even if it disappointed someone I care about.
Choices. In every moment of every day, we have choices. What are you choosing?
Insecure Writers Support Group
Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here on Monday and Tuesday. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair.
"ONLY ONE THING IS MORE FRIGHTENING THAN SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH, AND THAT IS NOT SPEAKING IT." Naomi Wolf
"We are called human beings, not human doings."
Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
"The way to do is to be."