Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Telling the Truth Tuesday - Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say

I've written lately about being "older" and some of the negative aspects of that particular scenario. I think it's time to talk about the benefits. Something began in my forties that I never thought would be possible: the ability to say what I think and not worry about how someone else will react. A total people pleaser, I hardly even knew what I thought and felt most of the time. It is truly liberating to not be afraid to speak what is in my heart and mind and soul. Some will agree; some will disagree. Some will like it; some won't. Some will get angry; some will jump for joy. It doesn't matter what the reaction, though, as long as I am true to me and speak my own truth.

Now, this doesn't mean I get to dump all over people. I have to be careful when and how I speak my truth. In the past, I'd blurt things out without considering the circumstances. This may not be the best way to accomplish what you want. If the person you're communicating with is stressed out, distracted, off center, busy focusing on something else, your words will not fall upon receptive ears. It might be better to wait.

That is something else growing older has given me -- the ability to discern when certain things are appropriate or not. In the heat of a moment, either during an argument, or when things turn amorous, is not the best time to tell your partner you want to do something drastic, like change careers or move.

So, today, I am celebrating 60 years of living. Years that have taught me more compassion, for myself and others; a bit more patience (although I'm convinced this is a character flaw I am destined to live with till the day I die; and the courage to say what I mean and mean what I say. And although I'm not a granny, in the words of the Beach Boys, "go granny go granny go granny go!"


P.S. My upcoming radio interview with Mark David Gerson is this Thursday at 11:00 am Mountain Time.
Here is the link : http://markdavidmuse.blogspot.com/2009/12/muse-you-6-radio-for-writers-and.html.


Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I completely agree with you. And, there's also the ability to take advantage of senior discounts!)

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

My husband has always had the ability to say what's on his mind...which has always astonished me--and probably drew me to him. I usually don't like making waves, but as I get older I realize that no one is going to stand up for me if I can't stand up for myself. (Hubby excluded! He always stands up for me, but sometimes is at work and not around.)

Mystery Writing is Murder

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Happy birthday then!

Developing tact! My husband calls it The Little Man - he sits in your mouth, and when an inappropriate thing is about to spill forth, he stops it.

Karen Walker said...

Just a quick note - it's not my birthday. I'm just celebrating!

arlee bird said...

I thought I was going to give some opinions but you covered every point that I was thinking -- I agree with what you've said. I don't know if it should bother me, but I don't even ask for senior discounts, they just give them to me automatically. I've got another year and a month til I hit 60.

I have set up scheduled posting for the next few weeks and probably won't be commenting, but I'll be back in real time on January 3, 2010. Merry Christmas and a truly Blessed New Year.

Marvin D Wilson said...

Sixty and getting better all the time. Hey Karen, my wife just turned 60 on the 13th, and The Old Silly turns 60 on the 30th. Good things.

Karen Walker said...

Happy Birthday, Marvin, and to your wife as well. I made a decision this was to be my best decade ever, and so far, it sure is.
Lee, Have a wonderful time wherever it is you'll be. Blessings to you as well.
Elizabeth and Diane, your hubbies sound wonderful.
Jane, I haven't gotten up to asking for senior discounts yet, but I will.

Joanne said...

I'm liking your attitude here, Karen. It seems more important to say what we mean, whether people like it or not, than to be dishonest. Dishonesty is a disservice to everyone, and I think that by being honest, we earn a healthy respect, even if our honesty doesn't go over too well.

Helen Ginger said...

I like your attitude, Karen. You've come into yourself - I have not done that yet. I still censor myself. I don't flat out lie, but I keep quiet. I hate to debate or argue.

I would like to think I can follow in your footsteps. We'll see.

Straight From Hel

Deb Shucka said...

Hi Karen,

I'm here from Tab's blog. As someone very close to your age, I really relate to your words here. I hope to read your book soon - your story sounds powerful.

DebraLSchubert said...

I've never been afraid to speak my mind, in fact, I've had to learn to be a bit more PC over time. I just feel life's too short for BS including "hiding out." Yup, that about sums it up! Life's too short for BS. ;-)

~Ellie Kings~ said...

I can relate with much of this post. It's amazing the changes we welcome as the years go by. Wisdom is attached as if it was born with age. We get older and grow wiser. Except for a few that tend to regress. :) Happy Birthday Karen! Enjoy it to the fullest!

Patricia Stoltey said...

Good post, Karen. It would be a sad, strange world if we all thought exactly the same way, and it would be a sad, strange world if we could only speak with words that pleased everyone. The trouble is, the more we speak out as we get older, the less anyone listens. Most annoying. :)

Karen Walker said...

Welcome, Deb from Tab's blog. Nice to "meet" you.
Debra, you're lucky you have always had the ability to speak your mind. It's a gift.
Patricia, Sad but true.
And once again, it isn't my birthday. I'm just celebrating!!!

carolynyalin said...

Compassion and patience for ourselves (and others) is definately something we all need.

~Ellie Kings~ said...

oops! Sorry, Miss Karen. :) Great celebration!