Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Back in the saddle again
I'd signed up to attend the Story Circle Network conference being held in Austin, Texas the first week in February. But as the time to go drew closer and closer, I felt less inclined to go. As I listed the pros and cons, contemplated the priorities, what's getting done, what's not, I made a decision to cancel my registration. I am sorry I won't get to meet some of the friends I've made on line in person, but it feels right not to go.
The other issue is my dear friend M.A. She is eighty-eight years old. And until two weeks ago, she was still cleaning her own house, driving, taking trips, etc. For those of you who haven't read my memoir, she is the person whose house I stayed in when I left Portland Oregon in 1994. I'd packed all my belongings in my Toyota and came to New Mexico to start my life over.
I came to call her my guardian angel, because by allowing me to stay with her without having to pay for accommodations, and by offering moral, spiritual and practical support, I found sanctuary.
Two weeks ago, she fell. Had a concussion, but didn't know it for two days. Didn't call me, so I didn't find out till after the fact. After a week on anti-seizure meds, she fell again. This time, I was down with my upper respiratory thingie and couldn't be there for her. Now she is in a skilled nursing facility where she is to have physical therapy to help prevent future falls.
This is a fiercely independent woman. Won't ask for help. I'm not her blood relative, but we are very close. She doesn't have family here. Her daughter lives in Oregon, but even if she lived here, she wouldn't be much help. She's a brittle diabetic and has epilepsy. She's totally dependent on M.A. for financial support.
What is my role here? How much can I step in and advocate for her? What are the boundaries? My heart tells me there are none. I wouldn't have the life I now have if it weren't for her generosity and open heart. Now I need to open mine for her in whatever way I can.