Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Friday, January 22, 2010

Balancing needs

Yesterday I went out for the first time in almost a week. M.A. needed some things from her home and I was feeling much better, so I went. So glad I did. We got to have a long talk about her situation. Here's the deal. She has no family that can help her. And when I arrived in New Mexico, I was homeless and broken, spiritually and emotionally. She took me in--a complete stranger. The story is in my memoir, for those who are curious about the details.

There is no way I cannot step up and step in to help her. So I've agreed to be her personal health care representative so that I can communicate with her docs, make decisions if she can't, etc. I am making phone calls and researching options for what she will do when she is released from the skilled nursing facility. We still don't know the prognosis.

So for me, in addition to managing my own life, I am now managing M.A. and my mother-in-law. It's all okay. As hard as it is, it feels so right to be able to do something to help this woman who gave me the possibility to have the incredible life I now have. If writing isn't happening, so be it. If I have to let go of other things so I have the time and energy to help her, so be it.

For those who expressed concern about my taking on too much, please don't worry. I am really taking all of this into account and balancing my needs against the needs of those who are needier than me right now. I am okay.



Cyndi said...

You have taken on a huge responsibility here and without any clue as to when it may end. It's a loving and giving thing to do. I would do the same if I had a friend with no one to help her, even if she had never taken in me in when I was in need. Friends like M.A. are like family and you very clearly want to help her. I know you will sneak in moments to take care of yourself too, whenever you can.

Tabitha Bird said...

Good for you Karen! I am sure you are the best judge of what is too much and what is not. and I think you are the kind of woman who will follow the whispers inside... hey, that could be a book title! LOL.

Look after you. Did you get my email?

L. Diane Wolfe said...

That's right, you have to look out for you as well. You can't help anyone else if you're worn down and a mess!

Joanne said...

A very personal and giving gesture on your part, and so understandable. I have the feeling that living like this, making these understanding choices, will some day also help to inform your words.

Mason Canyon said...

Sounds like you're doing what your heart says. You can't go wrong with that. Some things may have to wait, but sometimes wonderful things happen while you wait. A lot of positive energy going on with you right now and that's always a good thing.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mason.
I hope you remember to take time for yourself as well.

Patti said...

Hi, Karen -- as some of your other friends have stated, you're the best judge of what you can handle. What you're doing is giving back, which you are very good at doing.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Your friend is so fortunate to have you as a patient advocate! And she sounds like a really caring person..as you are. As you take on fresh responsibility, I know you'll be cognizant of making sure you've still got time for yourself.

Hope you feel better soon!


Helen Ginger said...

I think it's a lovely and warm thing you're doing. I would add, do not be afraid to ask for help, if you need it. My guess is it will be difficult at times to do it all alone.

Straight From Hel

Elspeth Antonelli said...

Don't lose yourself when you're taking on this role. You count too. Bless you for being such a good person. Your soul must shine brightly.


Faith Imagined said...

You are such a giving person.

-Alisa Hope