Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Friday, February 26, 2010

Making a new commitment

In my session Wednesday with my writing coach, I shared that I have a new commitment. There are three key things I want to do each day: exercise, practice singing, and write. Mark David pointed out that I've just been through a huge, emotional event (the loss of my mother-in-law) and I am moving through an additional spiritual event with my new writing projects. He suggested I make a new commitment: Being good to myself. Ouch. I find it easy to be good to others--not so easy to be good to me.

When I told him how fully present I was for my MIL during her last days, Mark David said that was mom's lasting gift to me--showing me my own strength and compassion. Now I get to use that strength and compassion for me in my own life. I have modeled for myself what will most help me now in this next step of my journey--a time of my life that is mine alone.

The question is, can I surrender to my own process as I surrendered to MIL's? Can I put down the whips permanently and allow my humanness? Can I give myself a day of indulgence? Can it be okay with me to NOT write, or practice, or exercise?

Tune in as I take my baby steps in this latest commitment.

Blessings,
Karen

15 comments:

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I think that's wonderful advice...being good to yourself. And that can take many different forms!

Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I agree! Make an effort to follow his advice, Karen.

Jody Hedlund said...

If writing, exercising, and singing have become chores, then it makes sense to give yourself some room to breathe! But if they are ways to refresh your soul, then I think I'd jump in and enjoy them even more. Looking forward to hearing more, Karen!

Joanne said...

It depends what your day of indulgence is ... if it's singing, you might want to make a day of singing ;) It seems important not to deny your passions, but at times a day off brings you back to them recharged.

Mason Canyon said...

Good luck with that, you definitely need to be good to yourself to help you unwind. But I totally understand how hard it is to put yourself first. Try to think of it terms that you're doing it to make someone else happy and you won't feel quite as guilty taking the time for yourself.

Debra L. Schubert said...

I agree with Jody (so what else is new?). Keep your passions fresh and inspirational. I have total faith in you. You are a force of nature and I'm privileged and blessed to know you. ;-)

ajgallion said...

Some of us must fight to be good to ourselves because for so long we've taught ourselves that it is selfish or simple...worthless. What magic could there possibly be in treating yourself like you freaking matter???? The title of your book sounds really interesting -- gonna check it out now! Glad I found your blog.

Stephen Tremp said...

I have to take a Sabboth once in a while from writing. Its hard as I have two books I'm working on, a blog, other blogs to visit and comment, yada yada yada.

But a day of rest is in order from time to time. Its healthy and gives your brain a chance to declutter and defragment.

Do something crazy. Just don't get caught.

Stephen Tremp

Tamika: said...

Beautiful advice. Being good to yourself, loving yourself. You deserve it Karen! God believes so, that's why He sent His son for you. Begin living the abundant life He has planned for you.

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

A medical condition forced me to switch my priorities. I’m treating myself much better these days and it’s paying off. I’d say, listen to your writing coach – he’s right!

Sally said...

You were so attuned to you MIL and followed her lead... tune into yourself and do the same... writing/singing/exercising/resting

BTW... ordered your book and it arrived today.... looking forward to it and may drop you an email soon... thanks for offering that...

Gene Bodzin said...

You have already allowed yourself three rich and beautiful rewards -- exercising, singing, and writing -- but seem to be holding yourself back from the joy of seeing yourself on the same plane as others. Not below others, not as a person who needs an extra harsh judge (yourself), but as a person who is helping others (me and your other readers) understand themselves. It is a gift to yourself that you richly deserve. How ironic it would be for you to help others burst their shackles and to remain held back by some of the old constraints. If I am typical, you have a readership of people who admire what you have done for yourself and who give you permission to be extra nice to yourself as well.

Sharon Lippincott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon Lippincott said...

I hear something in what Gene said that's resonating deep within me. Something about expecting way more from self than we'd ever expect from anyone else.

You could not have kept up the pace with your M-i-l indefinitely without burning out. Likewise with being too intense on your personal pursuits.

This is a reminder to me to put Fun and Time to Smell the Roses near the top of my list. My Avatar of my tiny self smelling a rose is a constant reminder...

Patricia Stoltey said...

You're doing some cool things with your coach and your new goals. I like the idea of focusing on the priorities and eliminating that other stuff we don't really need. I'm gradually reducing the commitments I have so I can bring back gardening and exercise to my summer routine. Last summer I was too overwhelmed to do either.