Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Telling the Truth Tuesday - It's hard
What's hard is the emotional aspect. While the aides are here, it's not so bad. But when I'm alone in the house, I find myself checking on her to see if she's still breathing. At night, I'm able to go to sleep, but the instant I open my eyes, I dread getting up and going into her room, afraid of what I might find. I found my own mom dead in her bed, quite unexpectedly. That image stayed with me for a long, long time.
It's hard not making assumptions about what the good days might mean, or the bad ones. It's hard knowing that one day, probably not that far away, the good and bad days will disappear, and so will mom.
It's hard dealing with other people and their issues, whether or not their intentions are well-meaning or not. People just don't stop and think about the impact of their words or how their tone of voice makes someone feel.
Fitting my life in between the caregiving is hard, as well. But I'm managing. It is what it is and it's hard. And I'm okay with that. Just thought you should know...