Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Telling the Truth Tuesday - plugging in

When crisis hits, the normal world stops. Everything revolves around dealing with whatever the event is. I am amazed at how our souls operate. There are moments when you can forget what is actually happening and make phone calls, plan, notify...whatever needs to be done. Then, with no warning, you are reminded. I went to mom's apartment yesterday to help sort thru her things. I was fine until I walked into the bathroom and saw the shower curtain. Suddenly I was sobbing. I remembered buying it for her when we moved her to Albuquerque two years ago. There is no particular attachment to the shower curtain. It just triggered emotions.

Although it's been five years since my Dad passed, the same thing happens, although much less frequently. Grief is like that. It comes in waves. In the beginning, it is like a storm at sea--fast and furious. Then it subsides somewhat.

What I'm finding as we wait and watch and love her, is that I need to find ways to plug back in to my life any way I can. Friday I did an exercise video. Saturday I practiced singing and wrote a few blog posts. It felt so good.

Till next time,


Crystal Clear Proofing said...

It IS truly amazing how our psyches are wired to be able to function under such stress and grief.

Karen you appear to be doing a remarkable job of holding things together, getting things done and taking care of you, too! Hang in there; we're always here for you!

Joanne said...

I think too that we find strength in the routine, in the everyday. In a sense, it assures us of the steadiness that is around us, that we need. And then we bring that strength to the situation at hand to best handle it. So I can understand that gradual return to your routine.

Tamika: said...

I'm praying for you Karen. Grief is one emotion that I cannot fully interpret. I've never lost someone so close. Rest in the Lord.

Jen Chandler said...

I understand, Karen. It will be three years this November that my dad died. It doesn't get easier just different. And it's always the little things that get me. Like your shower curtain. But I like that. I like that I can go somewhere and see or hear something and be reminded of him. Even if I have to fight the tears.

Peace, friend,

Anonymous said...

I wish I could sing. Maybe you could do a singing video for people like me. Thanks in advance.

Stephen Tremp

Sharon Lippincott said...


Thanks for the up-close and personal inside view of this process.

As bizarre as it sounds, I have never been around when family members died. All my elders, including my mom, lived over 2000 miles away, and I was not in frequent contact. Mother was in a nursing home her last two years, unable to communicate.

Should I be in this situation in the future, your real-time account will surely be a comfort to recall, as you are handling it so beautifully.

Peace, love and prayers,


The Old Silly said...

Way to hang in there, Karen. And glad to see you back posting, too. (big smile)

Marvin D Wilson

Jody Hedlund said...

Oh, Karen. What a difficult time this must be for you. It's funny how certain things trigger an emotional reaction, isn't it? I hope you will have a very satisfying week, spending these next days loving and saying goodbye to your mom. Blessings.

Elspeth Antonelli said...

We're experiencing the same thing here with a death in the family just 2 weeks ago. I'm so glad you're giving yourself time for yourself; it seems the most important thing to remember, life goes on.

You're constantly in my thoughts.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

It's the little things, isn't it, that always make us break down!

You're so right about plugging back into life even in the middle of death. I think it's an important way to release tension during hard times.


Mason Canyon said...

It's funny sometimes the things that do trigger a memory from the past. Take care and taking a little time for yourself does help.

Tabitha Bird said...

Yes, plugging back in is a sanity saviour. I am glad you have found ways to take time for you. Blessings :)

Helen Ginger said...

I'm so glad you're doing things that connect you to your life outside of the waiting. You must take care of yourself.

Straight From Hel