Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Friday, May 14, 2010
I've lived with pets who belonged to others, but the connection was between the pet owner and the animal, not with me. It's different with Buddy. We are completely connected. And I love him. Totally.
A month or so ago, he had neck pain. When we took him to the vet, she wanted to put him on prednison, a harsh steroid. In order to do that safely, we needed blood work to check organ function. Lo and behold, we found out Buddy had diabetes. We debated over what to do and in the end, decided to treat the disease and see what happens.
In order for Buddy to live the best life he can, the diabetes needs to be regulated. This means determining how much insulin to give and how frequently. He's been spot-tested and his blood sugar was still sky high, so Tuesday, he went in for the day so they could more effectively evaluate his levels.
We were told that evening that he is insulin-resistant, meaning the insulin isn't working to control his blood sugar levels. There could be three reasons for this. One, he has a urinary tract infection, which would block the insulin from working. That would be the best case scenario, because it could be treated with antibiotics. Second is Cushing's disease, which isn't curable. The vet doesn't think that's it. Third is cancer. She also took an x-ray and discovered stones in his bladder. Depending on the kind of stones, they might be dissolved with food and meds. If not, it requires surgery.
Hubby and I have decided we won't go the route of surgery, no matter what the diagnosis. So we're praying it's urinary tract and the stones can be dissolved. In the meantime, my heart is broken. Either way, I don't think we'll be able to do our trip to Yellowstone, Grand Teton and Glacier national parks, because Buddy will either be in the process of dying, or in treatment for stones and infection. I don't want to leave him.
I guess we're never "ready" to lose those we love. It's hard. But I know for sure my Dad was dead wrong about never loving. I wouldn't trade the cuddly moments with Buddy for anything, despite the pain my heart is in right now.