Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, May 3, 2010

Monday Musings

I received a wonderful gift - the gift of discernment. I'd been bummed by my performance last Sunday. Here's the message: When will you learn, dear Karen, that if you ask for feedback, you may not hear what you want to hear? Were you flat? Does it matter? Some folks heard three-part harmony, others didn't. Does it matter? Who shall you trust? You. You. You. Let me tell you about nerves. Nerves belong in fear for life. No where else is there room for nerves because why should you be nervous about being You? If you're looking for unconditional love and praise from an audience, you won't find it. Performing is just that--an act. Some will like it, some won't. Same in the real world. Some will like/get you, some won't. Nerves make no difference. Learn to tame them. Not with alcohol. Or Xanax. With self-love. With your higher self. The you you are just beginning to know.

Blessings,
Karen

14 comments:

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Seeking external praise and confirmation will only lead to disappointment. You must be your own motivator and feel good about yourself.

MissV said...

It's hard to break the habit of looking for external validation. I especially have a problem with this. I've got that 'pleaser' gene and tend to wanna please everyone and drive myself crazy in the process. Getting better, but still an issue.

Mason Canyon said...

No matter what you do in life - some will like and some won't. You're right, we have to learn to please ourselves and go on. It's hard sometimes, but we can do it.

Mason
Thoughts in Progress

Joanne said...

I like the message here. Why be nervous for being our selves? You're right, some get us, some don't. That's the way of life, and helps make it interesting, too!

Cyndi said...

Excellent point. Unfortunately one that I have to CONSTANTLY remind myself of. And hey, why no love for Xanax?! ;)

Jody Hedlund said...

It's so easy to fall into the trap of wanting approval from our audience. On the one hand, we do want to communicate meaningfully with those we're sharing our message with (whether through song or writing). But on the other hand we don't want that to control us and determine our value and worth! Great thoughts today, Karen!

Helen Ginger said...

I've learned that sometimes you just have to let go. Let go of negativity, whether it's from within or from others. Let it go.

Another wonderful post, Karen.

Helen
Straight From Hel

arlee bird said...

When you put yourself before the public, you have to try toughen yourself as much as possible. Usually people are pretty kind, but there's always going to be someone who reacts negatively to what you're doing. It might be personal taste, honesty, the way they feel, or just the way they are. We can't let it bother us, but just take it for what it's worth and use it if it's useful. The applies to anyone whether it be a salesperson or a waitress, or a writer or a performer-- any who puts themself out there is facing evaluation.

Lee
Tossing It Out

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

What's the old saying...can't please everyone, so we've got to please ourselves? I think it's so true--but hard to live by!

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I think it is very hard, if not impossible, to get over the ‘I-want-everyone-to-like-me’ syndrome. Although as a published author, I'm finding it easier to accept these days!)

Tamika: said...

Don't forget your audience. Jesus! If I can please the Savior I am satisfied!

Anonymous said...

Tamika has a point. People are fickle. God is constant. Please God, not people.
Simona

Patricia Stoltey said...

All true. That's also what we have to tell our writer selves as we receive rejections from agents or unfavorable feedback for a contest entry. Not everybody will like us and not everyone will like what we write. Shrug. Say whatever. Try again.

Tabitha Bird said...

True! If only I could remember that my opinion is the one I need to be happy with.