Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, May 10, 2010
My childhood gave me none of these experiences. So I dreaded Mother's Day from a very young age.
Those of you who have read my memoir know what happened when I got married for the first time. It was a dreadful relationship. The one blessing which resulted from it was my son, but I lost custody when he was 4. Mother's Day became the worst day of the year for me.
My son is grown now and we have a wonderful, close relationship. But some wounds never heal--you just learn to live with them. When hubby's mom was alive, Mother's Day was a gift to her and no matter what we got her or where we took her, she appreciated it and let us know it. This was the first Mother's Day without her. To cope, I chose to ignore the day. It worked.
Even though it wasn't my fault that I lost custody. Even though I know I can't go back and change what happened. Even though I know I did the best I could at the time with the limited skills and knowledge I had. Even though my son is a happy, well-adjusted man, content with himself and his life. Even though I am at peace with who I am and content with my own life, Mother's Day is one big fat reminder of what I consider to be my biggest failure. And I am still making peace with that inside my soul, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
Is there something inside you that is hard? How do you live with it so it hurts less and less?