Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ups and Downs

I feel like I am on a roller coaster. As a child, I loved them, although I remember losing my voice for three days after riding the Cyclone at Coney Island. The last time I was on a roller coaster was maybe 10 years ago at Magic Mountain. They put me in the first car, hubby right behind me. I don't think I've ever been that frightened. You cannot see anything on Magic Mountain - pitch black. So you are hurtling toward the void at break-neck speeds. Hubby laughed his head off while I screamed mine off. Swore that was the last time I'd ever step foot on one of those blasted things.

But life is a roller coaster. Sometimes things creep slowly, like the cars inching slowly up that steep incline. There is time to catch your breath, perhaps think through some things, even imagine things to come. Then you reach the pinnacle, a moment of pure exhiliration, a deep breath, aaah, yes. Whoosh, you are off and running, helter skelter, out of control, fear of death, fear of crashing, maybe some good adrenalin mixed in with the fear, until you come screeching to a halt right back where you began.

I keep thinking I'm going to get someplace where the roller coaster will remain dormant. That I can coast without having to climb the incline or crash down the other side. I wonder if whoever invented the roller coaster knew it was such a great metaphor for how life really is.

Buddy's blood sugar levels are fluctuating madly, 82 one day, 380 the next. I'm trying not to let my emotions take that roller coaster ride - he's okay, he's going to die, he's okay, he's going to die. I remind myself to breathe. I do what I know I need to do to get and remain centered. There will always be ups and downs. The trick is to not be yanked either way. Go with the flow.

Are you up or down or somewhere in the middle?


L. Diane Wolfe said...

Think I'm stuck on the lift hill at the moment.
And I hope I never outgrow roller coaters.

Mason Canyon said...

Life is a crazy roller coaster ride. Right now I'd say my roller coaster is a small one with lots of ups and downs but not huge ones either way. Hope Buddy improves.

Thoughts in Progress

Mary said...

Just leveling from a major drop. I hope this was the tallest drop but life is life so who knows.
I hope the rides not ending anytime soon is all.
Hope Buddy improves swiftly.

Giggles and Guns

Joanne said...

The last roller coaster I rode was at Mountain Park in Massachusetts, decades ago! I wouldn't have the nerve to ride one now. But in life, I like the steady ride, with an occasional whoosh of an exhilarating twist or curve, the kind that when the day ends, you can only say "Wow. What an amazing day." It's nice to change things up a bit.

Cyndi said...

I love roller coasters,thev bigger the drops, the better!

In life, I'm not such a big fan. I guess I'm on the slow climb right now but try not to look at it this way as it only makes me worry and anxious. I don't always succeed but try hard to just stay in the moment and remember what I cannot control.

I hope Buddy's health improves and that you have a nice weekend.

Helen Ginger said...

I go up and down. I'm in a hotel now so I'm doing some downs and coasting since the Internet connection is awful. I'm up when I'm writing, lost in the story and characters.

I hope Buddy's levels even out and you can not worry so much.

KarenG said...

Gotta hate the ups & downs! Unless you love drama, than I guess it's ok. I like things to stay even. Best to Buddy, hope he's ok.

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Patricia Stoltey said...

I haven't been able to do roller coasters since I was a teenager, but I'm very good at sitting on a park bench and watching others do it. The same with wildly fluctuating emotions...I tend to pull myself back to the middle as soon as I feel that I'm getting too high or too low. Interesting comparison, actually. I'd never thought of the connection before.

Anonymous said...

I like how you said that you just need to keep breathing and go with the flow. Resistance is so hard to let go when riding the rollar coaster. When I'm riding, I strain to keep my neck still, and then come off in more pain then if I would have just let go and allow myself to move the ride.

Anonymous said...

I'm usually up. Just my genetic DNA makeup I guess. Even when I'm down, I'm up and usually writing or thankful and happy about something.

Stephen Tremp

Glynis said...

I try to be upbeat on a daily basis. Having had a breakdown, I cannot afford to go back on pills and let myself down. Roller coasters? I hate the things, but the one I've been on for 52 years no longer scares me. I have it on non-stomach churning level, nothing can shock me until it does, speed and I keep it well oiled with the love from the love and support of those around me.

Wishing Buddy and yourself well.

Ann Best said...

An excellent metaphor for life! I used to love riding it, but I wouldn't set foot on it now. I get enough roller coastering, like you, in my life. But like Glynis, I'm trying to be upbeat. I hate those downward plunges.