Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Telling the truth Tuesday - Don't take things personally
We shared our cabin with good friends, a couple with whom we play mah jong once a month, and who folk dance with us. We've known them quite a few years. Here's what I want to talk about today - how I am having to learn not to take things personally when someone I care deeply about makes comments about me and my life and how I do things.
Those of you who have been following this blog for awhile know that I've lost 50 pounds over the last few years and have been maintaining that weight loss for the last two years. I'd lost and gained weight more times than I can count for over 40 years, so to be stable in this area is huge. In order to maintain my weight, I need to manage what I eat and when I eat it. There's a difference between managing and obsessing. I used to obsess about food. I'd wake up in the morning thinking about what I would eat, could eat, should eat. Now, I pretty much know what I can and can't do and what the consequences are if I do something different.
Managing my food means I don't always eat what others are eating. So at the cabin, for example, one couple is responsible for say breakfast, cooking for all. The other couple is responsible for dinner, cooking for all.
R & T were making breakfast for us. I knew their breakfast would contain way too many calories and throw my balance of proteins, carbs, fruits, fats, etc., completely off, so I brought my own breakfast.
Later on in the weekend, as we were packing up to go home, R and I sat on the porch and the conversation came around to food. I said something about being grateful I no longer obsess about food, and R looked at me and said, "I think you do still obsess about food."
Now, normal people probably would not have gotten upset about that remark, but I'm not normal. I didn't get upset the way I used to, doubting myself, getting all emotional, having a heated discussion. I simply asked her what she meant. She explained that not eating the same food as others when we're together, to her is obsessive. I eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day. I also cook things in the crock pot and hubs and I eat during the week. There are two reasons for this. One, I don't enjoy cooking, so this means I don't have to cook every day. And two, I really don't care all that much about food any more. My life is not about the food. Food is just sustenance. R, on the other hand, is a gourmet cook and cannot imagine eating the same food every day.
There's one other factor for me. I'm hypoglycemic and if I don't eat at certain times, I get panicky and extremely irritable. So I frequently have to eat before everyone else. I still sit at the table and share in the conversation, but I may not be eating. For me, the meal is about the company and the sharing, not the food. Some folks have an issue with this as well. Why can't I snack before hand and then eat the meal with them, they ask. Well, it's more calories than I want in my body if I do that.
So it made me think about how our culture is so heavy on food being the center of entertainment. Am I being rude by eating my own thing in social gatherings? I told R that perhaps I needed to add additional foods into the mix, but for now, what I was doing worked for me.
What do you think? Would you be offended if we went out to eat and say, it was 7 pm and I'd already eaten at home? Or if I came to your house for dinner and I only ate certain things that were served and not others.
Inquiring minds want to know....