Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, September 27, 2010

Monday Musings

I had a great weekend - hope you all did as well. Hubs and I had a real date Saturday nite - a yummy French dinner, a Crystal Gayle concert (spur of the moment) and dessert at one of our favorite places. On Sunday, we saw a local production of "Candida" by George Bernard Shaw. He is a brilliant writer and I realized that playwrights really have to nail characterization in order for the play to work. I am going to study plays to see how they do it.

I revisited the journal I've kept over the last year since the "voice" came to me in Scotland and asked me to tell its story. It was a way of re-connecting, since I haven't written a word in weeks. The entire process, from the moment I heard that whisper, to now, has been transformational, spiritually, emotionally and even physically. One of the things that came through loud and clear is that I musn't abandon the writing. I must find a way to manage my energy so that I can write, sing, and live a full life with family and friends. As hard as it feels sometimes, it is the next step in my spiritual journey, so unless I am willing to ignore who I am and what is important to me, I must continue.

I visited the New Mexico State Fair on Saturday, meandering by myself while hubs ran his model railroad trains. Had the feeling I was an alien from another planet amongst all the men and women wearing cowboy hats, boots and jeans. Sometimes the New Yorker in me surfaces unexpectedly, even though I've been living in the Southwest for 16 years now. But put me in the midst of barns, barnyard animals, cowboys and country music, and I definitely feel a bit displaced. It's fun, though, to people watch.

Do you ever feel like you don't belong? If so, when and where?
Blessings,
Karen

20 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Glad you're going to continue with that project, Karen!

Vicki Rocho said...

Glad you had a good weekend. I feel like I don't belong all the time. Either I'm older than everyone else, or decades younger, or SOMETHING.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Some things, you just HAVE to write.
And I miss the NM State Fair! It was always my favorite. Giant sopapillas with honey and powdered sugar...

Tabitha Bird said...

Gosh, I feel that way daily. I think it is okay though, the whole not belonging thing. Makes me run where I need to run instead of with the pack :)

Cyndi said...

Glad you had such a good weekend and are going to keep writing! I don't feel I belong at my kids' school and sporting events. Of course I belong there because I'm excited to support my sons. It's many of the other parents that I can't relate to. On paper we should all be great friends. We have a lot in common. Where we differ is that I'm not a big "joiner". I'm not volunteering for every single class party, don't attend PTA meetings and have other interests besides the school and the sports organizations. I'm not one of those moms that loads their kids up on activities. I let them choose what they want to sign up for and when. Standing around listening to the other moms talk about all their involvement in seemingly hundreds of activities makes me tired. I wonder if they truly have no other interests and focus solely on their kids. These dull conversations are not for me just as being a room mother is not for me. I not only feel as if I don't belong, I don't want to belong! :)

AlexOngNYC said...

Sometimes. When the chill starts in the air and people drive me crazy, sometimes I wonder if I should just move to New Orleans.

Alex

Joanne said...

Hm, now I've got a song in my head ... Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue. I'll bet it was a great concert, live music is so amazing. I'm glad you are still considering your writing project. Maybe this is just all a part of the contemplation to get you to that "write" place.

Karen Walker said...

Thanks, Alex.
vicki, it's nice to know I have company in my "not belonging" feeling.
Diane, yes, this is one of those projects. Giant sopapillas - never found those at the fair! Yum.
Tab, yes yes yes you are so right.
Cyndi, I so relate. As a young mother in the 70's I was ostracized for not being happy just staying at home with the baby and talking about diapers and toilet training.
Alex, New York to New Orleans - wow, now that would be culture shock. If I had landed in New Mexico right from New York, I'm not sure I could have stayed.
Joanne, that song is the reason I went to hear her. Love it. Yes, I think this time away from the writing is part of the contemplation time needed to actually do it.
Karen

Jen Chandler said...

Hey Karen!

First of all, thank you so much for the comment this morning.

I feel out of place where we live, even though I've lived in the metro Atlanta area most of my life (except for a stint in Savannah). Funny, but it was those two years on the coast that really made me feel alive, like I belonged. I find it interesting that I'm no longer "at home", at home.

Have a great week,
Jen

arlee bird said...

Sounds like you had a wonderful weekend and that it helped to refresh your creative spirit.
I often feel like I don't belong and much of those times don't really want to belong. I'm content observing and taking mental notes. I don't really feel out of place, but just don't feel like I have that much in common and would just as well be at home. This usually goes for gatherings where I don't know many people and there is loud music that really doesn't allow for meeting people very easily.

Lee
Tossing It Out

KarenG said...

I'm a midwesterner and that feels like home. The great rivers and lakes, the towering trees, the lush green summers. I've been a westerner since 1986, and altho I love living out here, it doesn't really feel like HOME, if you know what I mean! So guess what my home is decorated with antiques and things from my grandparents & great grandparents past, and my backyard has a huge pond, big trees and lush green everywhere.

Cyndi said...

By the way I finished your book and loved it.

http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/91012409

Helen Ginger said...

Sounds like you have a fabulous weekend, Karen.

I'm wondering if you need to set priorities, and you may have already done this. What is your number 1 priority and it takes precedence above others. Maybe it's spending time with your husband. What is number 2? Maybe it's writing, so you set aside an hour each day (or each week) to write, read, look over notes, things related to that. What is number 3, maybe it's singing, so maybe you dedicate a night or time when you will practice or sing and nothing interrupts that (unless it's a real emergency), and so on.

Sounds like a workable idea. But don't look to me as an example!

Jules said...

Wow, that sounds like a lot for one weekend! People watching is my favorite sport ever, yes it is a sport. It takes a lot of talent and agility not to get caught staring :)

Out of place...I think of this as a warning from my heart saying, "come on really, why are we here?" :D

Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Clarissa Draper said...

I often I don't feel I belong anywhere in public but my husband works hard at forcing me outside. I'm glad you had a romantic weekend.
CD

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

Glad you had such a nice weekend.

Most of my feelings of not belonging happened when I lived overseas, but occasionally they still happen.

Karen Walker said...

Hi Jen, thanks
Lee, yes, I, too, feel out of place when I don't know people and there's loud music
Karen, sounds like you've created a lovely home
Cyndi, wow, you made my day. Thank you so much - and for the review on Goodreads.
Helen, your advice is so wise - perhaps I can try that.
Jules, Clarissa and Jane, thanks for sharing.
Karen

Anonymous said...

Darn I'm sorry I missed your hubs at the train exhibit. Last year he gave me and my girl the special tour. We did stop by the Wednesday we were at the fair, but he wasn't there. :( I just love the NM State fair with all its sights and sounds and smells.
-Simona

Jemi Fraser said...

I've so often felt like I don't belong. I've often been more of an observer than a participant. I enjoy that, but I also enjoy when I feel at home with my friends and family :)

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Gosh...I feel like that all the time Karen! I'm British, but have lived most of my life in America. My family in England considers me American and my family in America considers me English...I've lived in about 15 towns since I moved to the States...