Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Telling the truth Tuesday - Life

The first line from one of my favorite self-help books says life is difficult, but once you accept that, it gets easier. It comes from "The Road Less Traveled" by M.Scott Peck. It is so true. I used to strive for happiness, thinking once I reached it, that's the way life would be--forever--just like the fairytales. Now I know that we have moments of happiness, but the nitty gritty of daily living offers more challenges, I think, than peace and comfort. It's how we deal with those challenges that determines our level of inner peace.

Those of you who read my memoir know that when I came to New Mexico, I was broken, spiritually and emotionally. I had very little money, knew no one here, and just didn't feel I had the energy or desire to continue. I had come to Albuquerque to housesit for my friend's mother's friend, a wonderful woman, whom I'll call M.A. When M.A. returned from her trip and asked me what my plans were and heard just how bereft I was,she offered to let me stay with her until I figured out what I wanted to do. It ended up being four months. She took no money, except for long distance phone calls. At the end of that time, I'd found a job, and shortly after that met my hubs. So if it weren't for M.A., I wouldn't have the wonderful life I am living right now.

She's in trouble. She's going to be 89 in November and she's had several falls. Saturday morning, she fell and couldn't get up. No one knew. Her housemate had gone off for the day. She lay, flat on her back the entire day and evening. We got a call at 10 pm that night when her housemate returned. He couldn't get her up by himself. She hadn't injured anything, but was incoherent (probably from dehydration).

She has no family. Her only daughter lives in Oregon and is handicapped. M.A.supports her. I'm it. There are no rules for this kind of situation. I am not family, but I love this woman with all my heart. I call her my guardian angel. So yesterday, hubs and I went over there to assess the situation. I'll be going with her to the doctor this week and talking to her financial person also.

So that's my difficult issue, along with the family member I've been talking about. We won't know exactly what we're dealing with there until mid-October. So, my truth for this Tuesday is that I'm exhausted. And I'm okay. I've learned just how strong I am over the years. And in the midst of all this, there have been some very happy moments as well. It's just what we call life. And it's difficult. And wonderful.



Jody Hedlund said...

Sounds like MA was a tremendous blessing to you when you needed it, and now you're getting a chance to be a blessing back to her. That is very cool! I think it's often very draining to give of ourselves, to pour out our hearts and souls, without expecting anything in return. But I pray you find great joy amidst your tiredness!

Vicki Rocho said...

It's a hard choice to make, because society says she's not your responsibility...and that would be the easy decision -- and no one would blame you. But I see a wonderful opportunity to repay a kindness.

Mason Canyon said...

Do what your heart tells you Karen. It will lead you on a good path. You're strong and you can do what needs to be done. Best of luck.

Thoughts in Progress

Jules said...

How profound you have become while in New Mexico. I too search for such wisdom and yes the ups and downs make us who we are.

I wish you peace, rest and guidance. Also a shoulder if you wish to vent or ramble. My thoughts and prayers to you I send.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You can do it. You have the strength to be HER angel now.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

And thanks so much for featuring my blogfest!!

Mary said...

God puts people in our lives for a reason. We may think we know why only to learn much later that His circle of love is involved.
Prayers are with you and hubby as well as MA. It will be hard on her also.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Karen, sounds like you're dealing with a situation similar to my mom's - except you aren't 3000 miles away...

Tamika: said...

What a beautiful relationship. I know she adores you as much as you do her. It amazes me how God chooses people to be a blessing to us when we feel like throwing in the towel.

I pray that you both find comfort and strength during this time~ I know you will:)

Clarissa Draper said...

You're in a tough situation and I really have no idea what to say. But, you obviously have a huge heart and so I know you will make the right decisions.


Karen Walker said...

Thank you all so much. Clearly there is no choice involved here - I am going to be and do whatever MA needs at this point. I want to be there for her. It's just coming on top of dealing with a health crisis with a family member, not sleeping, and the death of a friend's mom all at the same time that's a bit hard to handle at the moment. But it will be fine.

arlee bird said...

This is one of those what goes around comes around stories. Most of us are fortunate to have had those in our lives who have helped make our journeys easier. Likewise, we are often called to step up and lend our hand to help. Networks of friends and families can be so wonderful and comforting.

Tossing It Out

Helen Ginger said...

You are such a loving person, Karen. I hope things will settle and you'll discover the path you need to take.

Have you looked into how expensive one of those alert things? I think she could wear it around her neck and push it if she fell again or needed help.

Anonymous said...

Blessings on you, Karen, for taking this on. I have nothing but the highest respect for you.

Crystal Clear Proofing said...

My Dear Karen,

The Universe knew I needed to read this, and you, as its vessel, made that happen.

I too, as many of us do, think that happiness is something to be acquired, and once you have it - WAH LAH! A delightful life!

Unfortunately that is not reality. As I read your post, I immediately – mid-read – went to my library and was HAPPY to see that I have the book you refer to amongst my self-help books, but apparently a newer addition, as it's titled, "The Road Less Traveled and Beyond."

I've been implementing different tactics and exercises in my personal growth...but this book, having worked so well for you, I've decided deserves another read.

Thanks for sharing. It's helped me a lot!

Ann said...

Thinking of you Karen and sending you love and best wishes through blog lines. Take care of yourself and you will find what you need to take care of your friend.

Patricia Stoltey said...

I also thought "The Road Less Traveled" was an excellent book, and I'm another one who needs to go back and read it again.

M.A. is going through a rough time, but how blessed she is to have you and your husband to look out for her interests. You're a wonderful friend.


PCS said...

Thanks for your article! Very uplifting and such a wonderful attitude! ;o)