Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, January 24, 2011

Monday Musings: In step or out of step

Ever since I can remember, I've felt out of step with most of the world. If folks are raving about a movie, I usually don't get it. I don't get most jokes. In high school, all my friends were accepted into a sorority (I know, I know, my high school had fraternities and sororities -- it's ridiculous), but I was rejected. It left a scar on my psyche that probably still hasn't fully healed. On jobs, I never liked going along with the rules, although I was also a goody two shoes and absolutely did follow instructions. But I was much happier as an entrepreneur, making my own decisions and following my own intuition as to the best way to handle situations and clients.

It used to bother me that I felt like an outsider most of the time. Outside of my family of origin -- they were so dysfunctional I wished I had been adopted, outside of friendships, outside of my marriages (until this one, that is, but it took me till I was 46 to choose wisely).

Now, I have come to accept that I'm out of step. I never would have made it in the military. It's really interesting to me to realize how far I've come. Growing up, I was a chameleon who would say or do anything to fit in. Now I'm okay if I'm the only one who likes a movie everyone else hated or vice versa.

How about you? Are you in step or out of step and how does that work for you?


Tabitha Bird said...

I am out of step. Always. And I like it. It's me. When I'm out of step with what everyone else is doing I'm in step with me. and I am learning to be very happy about that.
Hug to you. You sound down lately ??

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I always felt like an outsider when I was younger, but the older I get, the more normal I feel.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I've always felt a little different, but fortunately I had a group of friends who were just as different as I.

Jules said...

I definitely am out of step and when I try to get in step, I trip. Since you sing and Alex is hosting this music fest; Google Gloria Gaynor and the song "I am what I am." I think it will make you see things with a smile. Do it, promise?! :)

Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Karen Walker said...

Hi Tab, thanks, your perception is accurate, but I'm hanging in there. Hugs right back to you.
Diane, yes, I am getting more and more comfortable with who I am.
Alex, you're lucky. Sorry I'm not participating in your blogfest, but I'll follow along for fun.
Jules, me, too. Thanks, I will google the song. Cheers to you.

Arlee Bird said...

You and me both! We're not out of step, we're just marching to that different drummer. In many ways I like being different and having different tastes than the masses.
And by the way, your song list would have been cool to see and just as relevant as anyone elses. Don't say you're old because if you are so am I. Most of my top 10 songs were 30 years old or more.

Tossing It Out

Kristi said...

I LOVE those people who are out of step...to me, those ARE the interesting ones, the ones that really understand themsevles fully, the ones that have something to say!

The hubs and I were talking about this very thing this past weekend! At times I DEFINITELY feel out of step in this world, and other times I feel like I'm totally in tune. I'm more proud of the times I'm out of step with good reason. ;)

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

I considered myself out of step all my life, but now that seems normal – at least to me.

Ann said...

I am often out of step. More than I care to admit. I seem to be of th ilk when someone tells me I can't do something.....step aside and just try to stop me. Well some of the time anyway!

Jemi Fraser said...

You always make me think!! :)

I've always marched to my own drummer too. Always did it quietly as I was extremely shy until recent years. It did bother me some when I was a teen - but I rather like it now! :)

Anonymous said...

I was most certainly out of step in high school, but somehow, somewhere, someone taught me to be proud of my individuality, and to "go with what I know to be right" and let everyone else do what they're gonna do. My self-acceptance enables me to accept others where they are in their journey called "life." You, my friend, are doing just fine. Thank you for this blog. As Jemi says: You always make me think.

Patricia Stoltey said...

I feel I'm in step most of the time, but it's easy for those of us who march to a different drummer. :)