Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, January 10, 2011

Monday Musings

Several friends have commented recently that I seem subdued. I guess I am. Surrounded by folks dealing with various life crises and having a few of my own, it feels as if my Light has dimmed somewhat. And it's not the kind of thing you can just change a lightbulb and it's fixed. I guess I've always been somewhat of an optimist, believing that if I work hard enough, pray enough, be good enough, life will somehow turn out well. And in many ways, it has. But it's also hard. It's hard to maintain my high energy, productive, happy-go-lucky self. Sometimes I find myself sitting and staring into space. Hubs walked by the other morning and started questioning was I going to exercise, was I going to write, was I going to practice singing. And I said I didn't know. I'm not planning each moment, filling it with my to-do list.

This has been a year of needing new things: car, TV, computer. And now a furnace. My new mantra: it's only money. Can't worry about how much is flying out the window or if we'll have enough money to retire. Can only do what we can to ensure those things are taken care of and then have to let go.

Letting go seems to be my theme song. I never studied zen, but I know it's a primary tenet of that philosophy - to let go of attachment to people, places, things. I'm trying to figure out how to remain emotionally connected but not attached.

How about you?


KarenG said...

I went through a phase like that toward the end of the year, and it lasted awhile. It was a time of endings, and sometimes endings are difficult. Beginnings are so much more exciting. And those times can just sap your energy. I hope you are back on top of things real soon. Let yourself stare and relax and veg if need be. Who knows? Maybe a new book idea is brewing under the surface.

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Hope you can have a chance to renew your energy...however you're able to, Karen. Hugs!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Karen, it is only money.
And what you're going through is just a season. You can get through it.

Glynis said...

Virtual hug.
I hope your life brightens up soon. x

Kristi said...

I'm sending loads of warm bloggy hugs and chocolate your way! (((hugs)))

While reading through your post, I know you feel down and out, but I can see that ray of optimism shining through it all, in you, in your words.

This too shall pass, and when it does, things will be right with the world again. Until then, we're all here for you! ;-)

Karen Walker said...

Hi Karen, thanks for the encouraging words. Maybe you're right.
Elizabeth, thanks for the hugs and kind thoughts.
Glynis, virtual hug right back at ya!
Diane, love thinking of this as a "season." Thank you.
Kristi,glad someone can see the ray of optimism, cause I sure don't feel it. It's weird because I've been depressed before, and this feels different. Maybe I'm just going thru some major transformation.

Joanne said...

It sounds as though you're just in a quiet place of recharging. I think it's really necessary to do sometimes, or else we run the risk of sheer burn-out. Rest, contemplation, ease, all have a way of nurturing our souls, and are so necessary before we're ready to continue on.

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

Hopefully your light will be shining extra bright again in the near future. Take it easy until then.

Arlee Bird said...

Keeping a good attitude helps make things work out. Seems like there's always something and if we get stuck on one thing we can't focus on the next things that come. Have to do what we can and just keep moving.

Tossing It Out

Mason Canyon said...

With all that is going on around you, it's hard not to lose some of your energy. Sounds like you are on a path that will help re-energize you and have you back up to speed before long. Sending positive thoughts and hugs. Just remember to take care of yourself along the way.

Thoughts in Progress

Jules said...

You are right it is not a light switch; it is a dimmer switch. Sometimes we just need to DIM before we power back up. I know this first hand. Big hugs, just think of all the power you are storing up :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Karen, hope you find that spark again soon.

Anonymous said...

Responding to your comment on my blog: YOU are inspirational, Karen. I was looking through Bloggers' books I have bought so far, and found a beautiful passage in yours--a prose poem that is JUST wonderful!!

Yes, we all have these downturns. I'm in a calm place, but so many around me, including my daughter's aide, are struggling emotionally; and my oldest daughter's family is struggling financially. Life just isn't easy!! Hang in there. I think you will, as Alex says above, find that spark again. Never give up!!

Jemi Fraser said...

We do need and have those down swings. No life is always up - unless it's artificially induced and no one needs that. Take your time, relax, take care of yourself. Hope you feel renewed soon!

Jen Chandler said...

I hope your energy is on the mend. It takes a lot out of a person, being surrounded by people going through tough times. It can rub off on you. I've been going through some energy draining spells myself, mostly due to job stress.

Life is always moving, though, and I know these down times will once more shift and move upward.

Take care!