Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Telling the truth Tuesday - Am I depressed?

I'm having a very hard time making myself do anything - exercise, practice singing, write, see a friend, feed the dog. It's as if all the energy has been sapped out of me. I don't feel this way every minute of every day, but I do feel this way a good bit of the time.

I'm having a hard time figuring out if it's mental or physical. I did go to the doctor and had some blood work done  - no results yet. I have been depressed before and somehow this doesn't feel the same.
In the past, I've felt this way when something in my soul wants me to pay attention. Perhaps I'll use these next few days while hubs is out of town to do some journal writing and explore.

In the meantime, I do make myself do all the things I need to be doing each day, so no worries, please. I'm okay. I'm just doing what I do, exploring myself and what it means to be me.

How about you?


Jessica Bell said...

Yes, you're depressed. I go through this quite frequently. Just ride it out. It's all you can do :o(. SEnding positive thoughts!

Karen Gowen said...

I had a spell like this due to getting too busy, not taking care of myself, my mom's stroke and a few other huge changes going on. Sometimes it takes awhile to identify the causes. And sometimes it takes awhile to get back to "normal"-- but whatever you call it, depression or grief or fatigue (probably some of all of it) I hope you can get past it as soon as possible. You have my number. I hope you will call me whenever you want to talk.

Jane Kennedy Sutton said...

Can it be weather related? I know if I don’t see sun for a day or two, my energy level declines. Whatever the cause, I hope you feel better and peppier soon.

Jules said...

Sounds like you need a change of venue. Force yourself to go to the mall, pick out all the people with red shirts, now imagine they are blue shirts. :)

Sometimes, we just need to think of nothing for something to make sense. Be patient and kind to yourself :)

Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Karen Walker said...

Love you all. Thanks. Jane, I don't think it's SAD (seasonal disorder) because I live where the sun shines nearly all the time.
Another friend is feeling exactly the same way - maybe it's just "the times they are a changin"

Arlee Bird said...

I do get in slumps, but fortunately they don't last too long. I think if it's more than a couple days then a self-evaluation is in order. Like Jules suggested some diversion might help. Sometimes I think we get so self-absorbed with our problems they just seem to fester and grow. Rather than settling into the funk we need to get out from behind the veil and get funky.

Sorry I missed you in my round of thank-yous. I will add your blog to my next round. Frankly most of the people I think told me they had something up or I happened to see it in Google reader or something like that.

Also (and sorry I'm not using official terminology) when your blog page pops up in the little frame on my screen the badge is on the outside of the range of visibility and I have to maximize my screen to see it, which usually I don't maximize a screen but only read the post.
You can go to blog design and template page and change the size of how your blog page fits in the screen. It's not compicated to do, but it's more explaining than I would want to do in this comment.

Anyway, hope things brighten up and do something fun or interesting.

Tossing It Out

Jen Chandler said...

Hi Karen,

I'm sending prayers your way. I understand how you feel. Over the past year, I discovered I have Adrenal Stress Disorder and I can feel like you're describing every single day. Stress is the bugbear and with this job I'm at, unfortunately it's a daily overdose!

Your attitude towards this depression is commendable. Taking time out to really focus on what's going on is wise. I know when I'm down and I am able to get away from the stresses and troubles of everyday life, I can listen to what's really going on.

Jen xo

Ella said...

If this feels different, I'm going to suggest a TSH(Thyroid Stimulating Hormone) level. Some
symptoms are depression, fatigue, blah, brain fog and want to sleep. Go to www.about.com click on letter T and check the thyroid site. They have a test you can take. Also the new level is 0.5-3.0 so if you blood work comes back above 3.0 and you think it is your thyroid. Get another opinion...

Stress aggravates the thyroid and it doesn't like cold weather. I have to up my meds, when we have a cold winter. Listen to your body~

Tabitha Bird said...

From someone who knows depression well, this doesn;t sound like it to me. i could be wrong. You know you the best, so go with what you think. But I'd say that for whatever reason you are feeling blah. If it continued for weeks I'd be very concerned. Def go see someone if it does.

Hugs to you though. whatever is going on you sound in need of friends :))
Be gentle with you.

The Old Silly said...

I've found that the mental and physical are actually one - they have direct effect on each other like two sides of the same coin. So phyisical fatigue and/or illness can cause the same mentally and visa versa. For me the antidote is to do something physically invigorating and/or pleasing to rejuvenate the mental wellness, and visa versa. Once physical and mental are balanced and well, spiritual well being is restored also.

And remember - everything is a choice. We CHOOSE to be (stay?) depressed. Once we identify a state of depression - and again, I applaud your brutally candid and honest with yourself nature - we can then choose whether or not to stay depressed.

Hope that helps - easier said than done, I know, but it's a truism this Old Silly has come to believe in and do his best to practice.

Karen Walker said...

Thanks so much. I have had so many technical issues lately with email, internet, etc. that I can't deal with trying to change blog settings right now. Sorry.
Jen, I'm so sorry you feel this way so frequently. Sending hugs your way.
Ella, thanks so much for the info. Just had the blood work done and mine is fine - not thyroid. I'm actually relieved.
Tab, I agree with you - it's not depression. Several friends are feeling the same way - maybe it's just winter doldrums - thanks for the love
Old Silly, you are a wise one indeed. It is a choice and in each moment I choose to get up off the couch and do something, rather than stay mired in the blahs.
This blogging community is just amazing.

Ann Best said...

Karen: I just read your comment on my Rain and Rice Krispies post. I'm sorry you're feeling "frozen." Some of this may be the winter doldrums. I've been there in the past, once horrifyingly in the dead heat of summer! Glad your thyroid's okay. My daughter has trouble with this. Low thyroid can really mess with your brain! Hope spring comes soon; hope you feel more upbeat soon!!
Ann Best, Author @ Long Journey Home

Joanne said...

I hope you're feeling better today, Karen. Sometimes I'll feel off and when considering things, realize I hadn't been eating right for a few days, for whatever reasons. So for me, staying nutritious helps. That's my Rx, a good meal:)

Helen Ginger said...

Hope you're feeling better. I get that way occasionally. I call it feeling "scattered." Nothing seems to capture my attention.

Sharon Lippincott said...

One word comes to mind: GRIEF.

This word comes to mind because as I walked out of the mall today -- the first time I've been to the mall on my own in ... how many YEARS? I was overwhelmed with GRIEF. Grief for the days of my youth. The days so long ago I've almost forgotten, when I used to stop at the mall on a whim in my daily wanderings before I went home to fix dinner for a working spouse. I love my life as it is. But it isn't what it was when I was YOUNG. I'm flooded with grief for my youth.

We think of grief in terms of death. The other sorts, like this, often get overlooked.

Might you be grieving things less than death? Or anticipating that sort also? Grief can flatten you.

Karen Walker said...

Ann, thank you so much. I do think it's partly winter doldrums. Thyroid tests came back normal
Joanne, yes, that's true for me as well, but I'm eating very healthily right now
Helen, hi - missed you! Yes, that's true, very little is holding my attention right now - a good novel, American Idol and my singing group.
Sharon, grief is definitely a big part of what I'm feeling. Let's talk.

Ella said...

Karen-Do things you love to do, take the time.
Try yoga, it helps brighten one's mood, when there is lack of sun. For me, when I need to up my mood a great movie, one you love and some popcorn, a long walk with my camera, and doing something I love, creating something. It has been a rough winter~ Take Care!

kathleen said...

Whatever it is you are going through ,Karen, I can certainly relate to those moments and days of flatness. I have learned to accept them as fleeting moments that will pass. It is then that I have to step back, be still and find the ways that nurture my soul~
prayer,exercise,connecting with friends,writing,hugging my grandkids.Some moments are better than others. For me ,it is about the fine art of negotiating with myself; of stepping out of my own way so I can just be. May you just be whoever you need to be. Sending positive vibes your way!