Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Friday, March 18, 2011

Acting as if

I am battling a depression - it's not there all the time, but it's there enough of the time that it is impacting my life and my well being. A long time ago, I learned to "act as if." So, when I wake up, I ask myself what I'd be doing if I weren't depressed, then I do those things. It's working. It doesn't remove the depression, but it helps me not be paralyzed by it.

I promise I'm okay. I really do think what is going on is a life transition. Somehow, signing up to receive social security benefits next month when I turn 62 triggered a crisis. This, coupled with someone I love deeply battling a difficult disease diagnosis, has caused a crisis of Faith. I am "acting as if" there, too. I am praying, even if I'm not sure who or what I'm praying to. I am acting as if I believe everything is going to be all right, even if I don't. And I'm writing. I have 7,000 words on my novel. I won't tell you what I think about those words, but I do have them. That's something.

Somehow, by acting as if, I get shifted into being what I'm acting.
Have you ever had to pretend?


L. Diane Wolfe said...

Fake it until you make it, Karen!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I struggled when approaching forty. Just take a day at a time.

Sharon Lippincott said...

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, preferably while dancing. That little SSI boost in your bank account each month is easy to get used to.

This very morning I listened to a few minutes of a Barbara Marx Hubbard interview. I intend to go back and find her exact words as she spoke of co-creation and related things. She mentioned that when she feels depressed, she recognizes it as a sign of some huge insight pushing to be born. Or something like that. This squares with my experience, how about you? May the delivery come soon!

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I'll frequently act like I'm in a better mood than I'm in and sometimes it'll actually pull me into a better mood. Hope it will work for you, Karen--best wishes!

Joanne said...

It's a way of making things happen, rather than being stalled in a limbo. I think that perspective and decisions like yours, really do alter our way of thinking in a positive way.

Lynn said...

Yes, I do 'act' like what I'd like has already happened. It keeps me motivated. Congratulations on your 7000 words! Remembering successes, even if it is just getting the dishes done as planned helps keep my mind in a good place.

Shirley said...

Ah yes, the Bell Jar. It seems to love writers. I went through several periods of depression in my 40's--and lived to tell the story. You will too!

In case this post about my own experience helps you, I send it along.http://100memoirs.com/2010/04/24/a-story-of-hope-for-those-who-struggle-with-depression/

Anonymous said...

Blessings, Karen. Pray to your own God; the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. He loves you, and he's very much alive. Oh, and Read Psalm 23.

Jules said...

Everyday my friend, I pretend. I have been diagnosed with depression too and refuse mind altering drugs. So like you I trick myself and pray.

I know for sure tomorrow the sun will rise and I put on a smile, because I choose to. I will smile the pain away. My plan anyway.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow