Be Gentle With Yourself - sounds simple, doesn't it? Maybe for some, it is. For me, not so much. I drive myself hard. And if I don't meet my own expectations, well, let's just say I don't feel particularly good about myself.
So how am I learning to work with this slogan (yes, another one from the 12 steps). Someone suggested I wear a rubber band around my wrist and every time I catch myself having a negative thought, I snap it. It actually makes me laugh, snapping me right out of the negativity.
I no longer set unrealistic goals for myself. Rather than set a word or page count for each day, I say I am going to write, and whatever comes or doesn't come, if I've given myself the time to sit down and write, then that's okay. Along these lines, I don't overwhelm myself with impossibly long to-do lists that I must accomplish in one day or one hour. And here is the kicker - if I don't finish my to do list, I don't beat myself up - hence, I am being gentler with myself.
One last thing. If I screw up, and believe me, I do, I no longer tell myself I am a no good person who doesn't deserve to live. I acknowledge I am human, and that humans make mistakes. And that all I can do is do the best I can in any given moment. And I'm learning to stop making excuses for myself.
How about you? Are you gentle with yourself? If so, how?
Insecure Writers Support Group
Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here on Monday and Tuesday. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair.
"ONLY ONE THING IS MORE FRIGHTENING THAN SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH, AND THAT IS NOT SPEAKING IT." Naomi Wolf
"We are called human beings, not human doings."
Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
"The way to do is to be."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs..(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."