Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, August 1, 2011
Monday Musings: Tectonic shift occurring
NOW, FOR TODAY'S MUSINGS:
No, we're not having an earthquake. But I'm having an internal one. Ever since I could walk and talk, I've been taking care of others. I felt it was my job to make my parents happy, for starters. Then, every relationship, every friendship, I made their well-being my responsibility.
A recent revelation showed me that there was an unconscious motivation for this: I wanted to be loved and that was my way of ensuring that would happen. Only it didn't and doesn't. I also realized that I don't like it when people step in and offer me unsolicited advice, so isn't it rather arrogant of me to assume others want mine?
This has been a mega part of my persona, and letting go of it makes me feel unsteady. Where I would normally phone or email someone I haven't heard back from to make sure they are okay, I'm not. If someone tells me their problems, I'm not coming up with solutions--unless they ask.
That is the key for me -- wait to be asked. Or ask if they want to hear my thoughts before bursting forth with my wisdom.
It is a delicate balance to recognize when I want to step in and assume responsibility for something that isn't mine and not do that -- and to remain a loving, caring person who likes to help others. I'll keep sharing as I figure it out.
What are you musing about today?