Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Telling the Truth Tuesday: Giveaway winner and: Hurt...Anger...Repression...Depression

And the winners are....ta da:

Liz Fichera
Melissa Sarno

I will be contacting each of you to get your snail mail addresses, so stay tuned. Thanks to everyone who participated in my first giveaway. It was fun.

And now here, Telling the Truth Tuesday: Hurt...Anger...Repression...Depression

I had another insight recently, one I'd like to share, because maybe some of you out there do the same thing I do. I was a "good" little girl. Did what I was told. Didn't question things too much. Because when I did, I got in trouble. I learned to keep my feelings to myself. Soon I didn't even know what I was feeling.

It took years to undo that negative training and become aware of my feelings as well as learn how to handle them appropriately. But the one feeling that still gives me problems is anger. It seems I don't allow myself to feel it. It manifests as hurt. Someone hurts me badly and all I feel is the hurt and betrayal. I never get to anger about it. But somehow the anger is there, burning inside me, but I am unconsciously suppressing it. The next thing I know, I'm depressed.  Luckily, I now know when I start feeling depressed, to look back and see where or how I've been hurt. But now I need to learn how to deal with the suppressed anger.

I was joking around with an 86-year old friend the other day. We both were saying that we'd be on our deathbeds and reaching for a notepad to write down one more life lesson before we go. Then I realized, for me, it's probably not a joke.

How about you?


Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I think I learn things everyday, but it would be a *lot* more helpful to me if I actually tried to *remember* what I've learned instead of blindly following the same patterns! You've got the right idea with the notepad, Karen.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

First I am proud to be a winner of one of your books and will look forward to recieving and reading it.

In the last four months I have expereienced "Hurt, Anger and Depression" but come to the conclusion that the person who caused this feelings has the problem not me and am now my positivie self once again.
As for deathbed notes I know death is the only sure thing that happens to us all but I like to keep it to the back of my mind and enjoy the life I have at this moment.

Have a good day.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I doubt you're ever run out of words of wisdom, Karen.
And I was a good kid because I watched my older brother get into trouble and decided to learn from his mistakes.

Paul Anthony Shortt said...

I think we never stop learning. Or at least, we never stop having opportunities to learn. It's still up to us whether to take the lesson when it comes along.

L.G.Smith said...

Don't know if I'll be writing down life lessons on my deathbed, but I'll be writing something. Probably an adventure story about a woman who falls in love.

Julie said...

I hope you never will stop writing your lessons down! You have so much to offer, I always appreciate your insights.

Congratulations to the giveaway winners!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Karen .. lucky people with the giveaways .. and Yvonne's getting one that's great.

I learnt yesterday from a Turkey! that we're here not to betray the moment, neither think back nor forward .. turkeys don't .. live for the now!!

I hope I'll drift away on a dream .. but that's a long time off .. got lots of stories to tell before that ... cheers and congratulations to all .. Hilary

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I tend to feel hurt rather than grow angry. Not that I can't hit anger of course. But that one time a year my husband and I have a real argument, he gets angry, I get upset and cry, and then it's game over. (He says the crying thing is SO unfair!)

Karen Walker said...

Elizabeth, I just remember a saying: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.
Yvonne, I'm glad you won as well - and so glad you have moved thru that difficult time and are back to yourself.
Alex, you were very clever to have recognized that as a child.
Paul, so true, it's totally up to us to keep learning.
L.G. yup
Julie, thanks for that
Hilary, love that, live for the now!
Diane, it may be unfair, but all's fair in love and war.

Claudia Moser said...

Congratulations! You are amazing!

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Michelle Fayard said...

The repressed anger doesn’t go away; it’s like a volcano that could blow any time, harming yourself and those around you who either didn’t cause the original pain or who might not care you’ve just exploded or they probably wouldn’t have caused the painful incident in the first place. Maybe it’s because we’re authors, but writing it down also gives me permission to let things go without feeling as if I’ve ignored the situation.

Jules said...

You know I learned to patch drywall dealing with repressed anger. :)
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Ann said...

Congratulations to all the very worthy winners!!!

Your life lessons always hit a cord with me. Anger is an emotion I do feel, but rarely express. It usually spurs me into some sort of action. I too need to get a handle on it.

Keep those life lessons coming!

Karen Walker said...

Claudia, thanks
Michelle,if I didn't write, I don't know where I'd be.
Jules, LOL
Ann, thank you. I will.

Helen Ginger said...

I think you have become so much more aware of yourself, your past, your feelings, and your actions. I know this hasn't been easy for you, but looking at it from my perspective, it seems like you're on an amazing journey.

Karen Walker said...

Thank you, Helen. I think so, too, but it isn't an easy one.

Laura Eno said...

The notepad is a good idea. You've given me much to think about. I'm not sure I've ever really analyzed why I get depressed.

Carol Kilgore said...

I used to get hurt feelings more than I do now. And hold a grudge. Once I decided I didn't want to be a grudge holder, I found I get angry quicker but don't hold as many grudges or have as many hurt feelings. It's much better to get over bad things than hang onto them.

Thanks for commenting on my blog today. I've seen you around other blogs from time to time, but somehow never got over here to say hi.

Karen Walker said...

Laura, it made a huge difference to me to understand where my depression comes from.
Carol, same here - I'd seen you all over but, sigh! Now we know each other - great

Samantha Vérant said...

Hi Karen- I just discovered you on Jessica's blog! Anyway, in addition to anger, guilt is a killer- using it and being held captive by it. It's important to let go of both. Looking forward to getting to know you on the blogosphere.

Karen Walker said...

HI Samantha,
You are so right about guilt. And thanks for visiting and for this very wise comment.

Glynis said...

Unless I keep striving to become a stronger character,I will still be the 'good little girl', keeping quiet and feeling guilty about being on my deathbed!

ceramic tile said...

Thanks for commenting on my blog today. I've seen you around other blogs from time to time, but somehow never got over here to say hi.