Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Telling the truth Tuesday - I'm cranky and I don't know why

Do your moods shift in a nanosecond? Can you be happy and joyous one minute and snapping at your best friend the next? I've worked on myself for so many years now and I still haven't figured out why I can turn irritable so quickly. It's embarrassing. I know food plays a part - I'm hypoglycemic and if I don't eat every few hours, I get cranky. So I plan for that.

This past weekend, hubby and I were out running errands and we did something we don't do very often. Go out to eat together. A new Vietnamese restaurant opened several months ago with rave reviews and since Vietnamese is one of my faves, I wanted to check it out. But I don't eat out very often because every time I do, I gain 1-2 pounds and it takes a few weeks to get it back off. I have to be careful, because if I don't get it back off, the next time I will gain another 1-2 pounds and the next time, etc. etc. By monitoring this and doing what I need to do, I maintain my weight loss.

After the most delicious lunch, we went to the Apple Store, where I'm pretty sure hubby got my XMAS present. While he was doing that, I went to a little specialty shop where they have the cutest tops, unique ones you don't find anywhere else. The normal prices are $60-88, and I almost never buy anything. But on this day they were $15-24. I got four new awesome tops.

My mood, after being exhilarated for about a 1/2 hour at my wonderful bargains and my happy tummy, plummeted and remained there the rest of the weekend. The only thing I can figure is that I can't handle being happy for very long. Isn't that crazy? I think it is.

But when I think back to my childhood, my mother couldn't stand for me to be happy. She was jealous of my accomplishments. Don't think too harshly of her. She had a tough time and she did the best she could. Although, truthfully, her best wasn't up to snuff. I came to peace with all of this a long time ago, but it makes me sad that even now, I have trouble maintaining joy.

The good news is that with awareness comes the ability to shift my thinking and I'm working on that. For most of my life, I remained down in the dumps for very long periods of time, without knowing why.

So here's to feeling all the joy there is to feel in this holiday season.
With Blessings,
Karen

155 comments:

Claudia Moser said...

What I find amazing is how you deal with your life, with your feelings, you have such a healthy approach. You are such an amazing person who is so strong and wonderful. Funnily enough I should be enjoying my last week at work for this year, but now I have to stay put and rest, health does take priority!

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I think it's great that you can realize what's happening, make a note of it, do a swift analysis, and help take the zing out of the mood swing. A great lesson for us all, there!

Tonja said...

B-complex vitamins (like 50 mg) really help me feel more consistently 'normal' - less mood fluctuations. I'm no doctor, but I think I read it helps to regulate the water in your body, so you don't gain all the weight after eating at restaurants because of the salt. My doctor said it couldn't hurt. It definitely helped me.

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I'm happy go lucky in mood until I suddenly remember my son is still outside the fold and no sign of his returning to it.
Enjoyed your blog very much,
Have a good day.

Yvonne.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Karen .. the most important thing is - is that you know what's happening .. and you're working on ways to get round it ... good for you - glad you had a good lunch, and some lovely new tops ...

With many thoughts - Hilary

Karen Walker said...

Claudia, feeling under the weather doesn't help anyone's mood. Hope you feel well soon!
Elizabeth, thanks, I try.
Tonja, hmm, will have to look into that - thanks
Yvonne, so sorry about your son -hang in there!
Hilary, awareness sure helps - thank you
Karen

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Hey Cranky, I'm Alex!
I'm pretty even-keeled all the time, but that has its drawbacks, as I rarely get those truly joyful moments. I guess that's the tradeoff.
And think you got an iPhone or an iPad????

Suze said...

'The good news is that with awareness comes the ability to shift my thinking and I'm working on that.'

Amen to that, my dear Karen.

Susan Flett Swiderski said...

Do you monitor your blood sugar? When that's out of whack, it can really mess with your mood. It's great that you're so self-aware, but it's possible your "inability" to maintain a joyful feeling has more to do with your body chemistry than it does with your childhood. Hang in there!

Karen Walker said...

Alex, ha ha , I don't think it's an iPhone or iPad - I think it might be a docking station for my iPod, which I've been wanting for awhile.
Suze, amen, indeed.
Susan, my blood sugar definitely plays a role, but alas, so do my habitual thought patterns, which I am systematically changing.
Karen

Ruth said...

My moods shift fast. They were worse when I was younger. I have to be careful what I eat and drink too. Too much sugar and caffeine makes me depressed and cranky.
I hate it.

Arlee Bird said...

Like Alex I tend to stay pretty steady as I go. I guess one might say I'm a stoic much of the time. Now my wife can be totally opposite from me sometimes. There'll be times when she all up and I'm the greatest person in the world and then a half hour later she might be angry about something and I'm a total jerk and I was just staying the same old me. Fortunately most of the time she's on the positive side, but I don't know where those flare ups come from.


Lee
A to Z stories starting 12/12 and the official A to Z Badge is now revealed
Blogging from A to Z

Glynis said...

I always feel in dark mood this week of December. Never sure why, but I just can't shift the low mood. Something must of happened in the past and I have blocked it.

A video of my new granddaughter did help a little, so maybe she will break the lifetime curse.

I hope you find joy again, and well done on those bargains!

Jules said...

So are you trying to tell me when we go shopping to take snacks and wear a helmet? :) Hang in there my friend.
Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

Melissa Ann Goodwin said...

perhaps because you are so aware of it, you always expect it to end, and because of your past you so want to hold onto those ups. we have too many expectations sometimes. one thing I've learned is to let myself wallow in the doldrums - really invite them in and roll around in them. they seem to go away faster that way. you should be proud of your ability to feel the joys, what a triumph you are!

Julie Musil said...

Karen, I think this is more common than you think. We all go through funks like this, and like you said, when we're aware, we can work our way out of it. And hey, four new tops!

KnowledgeMaven said...

Hi Karen -- happy holidays to you as well. I nominated your blog for the Versatile Bloggers Award. Congrats! Be sure to stop by knowledgemaven.wordpress.com to "pick" it up.

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