Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Telling the Truth Tuesday - Changes

Everything changes. Oh how I wish it didn't. But it does. I used to really hate change until I understood that nothing ever stays the same, so I learned to accept. My motto for the last few months has been adapt and let go, but I am not always able to do so. I had a very powerful lesson a few days ago. I was having difficulty communicating with someone. I felt I was being mis-heard, mis-interpreted, that words, thoughts and feelings were being put in my mouth that I didn't say, think, or feel. We tried several times to work through the issues, but to no avail. I made a decision to let go of this person, but before I told them that, I was a zombie. Lying on the couch, unable to read, watch TV, or focus on anything. I remained that way for hours, unwilling to hurt someone else in order to take care of me.

Early afternoon, I got up, turned on the computer and wrote two paragraphs, saying goodbye in as loving a way as possible, communicating my truth. I read it aloud to a trusted friend to make sure the tone wasn't hostile in any way, then pushed send.

Immediately, I was flooded with life energy. It taught me that energy is a barometer one can use to determine what needs to be done or in this case, undone. If I don't pay attention, I'm in deep doo doo.

What is your energy telling you?



Pearson Report said...

Hi Karen,

Change at the best of times is difficult; more so if we don't adapt easily. Good on you for making the effort to see a situation for what it is worth and dealing with it to benefit you.

So often, we (women particularly) bend ourselves into pretzels to please others all the while living with a knotted stomach.

Once we "unknot" and set things right we can breath again! That's the energy you write about...so important to let it flow freely and without guilt.

Truth is so important, not only for others to hear but for us to hear too (internally and externally).

I'm happy you did what was right for you.


Karen Walker said...

Jenny, thanks for "getting" it.

Mary Aalgaard said...

Excellent description of what it feels like to cut those ties. It is so true. Isn't it amazing the freedom you felt when you released yourself from that bad relationship? You are an inspiration.

Unknown said...

Good for you, the truth really does set you free and I have learned that the more you fight change, the more it forces itself on you.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That is the hardest thing, letting go. But sometimes people and situations are draining on us. You felt better because you're now free!

Annalisa Crawford said...

I admire your bravery - my instinct would be to hide away and not say anything.

Claudia Moser said...

Coffee gives me energy each day :-)

Joanne said...

I've found that indecision, pondering on an issue or problem, drains me and I always feel better once the decision is firmly made. It's amazing how just considering and thinking can sap so much strength.

Veronica and Thomas said...

I had always change myself. I spent eleven years as a manager at Walmart where it continuously changed. You learned really quick to become accustom to it. This holiday season was my first no longer with the company and I found myself missing the switch from one holiday to another. My solution was the small bathroom attached to the living room will be switched out with every season.

As for energy it has always amazed me how much it impacts my writing. On great days I flow through it and my characters are vibrant. On bad stressful days it's hard to even write a word so the negativity doesn't flow out.

DL Hammons said...

My energy is telling me that my cold medicine isn't working! :) But I do understand where you're coming from. Unresolved issues always bring me down.

Karen Walker said...

Mary, I cannot believe how flooded with energy I feel. It is truly astounding.
Siv, so true
Alex, yes, that is so, I am free.
Annalisa, I spent too many years hiding away. Just doesn't work anymore. It's hard to confront a difficult person or issue, but feels so much better, once I do.
Claudia, caffeine makes me jittery - wish it did help
Joanne, yes, that time between knowing something must be done and taking the action can be challenging.
Veronica, that's a huge change. Allow yourself some time to accept it.
DL, hope you feel better - my cold lasted weeks.

Tracy Jo said...

It is amazing when you tap into that energy and learn from it. I respect you for letting that person go. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with Dystonia and have tried lots of different therapies. Acupuncture, Myofasical Release, Reiki, etc. Through those therapies, I connected with my energy. Now when I am around people that are mean spirited or just not good for me - my body tells me. I literally will physically not feel well. It is a blessing when you can cut out the noise and listen!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

I recently dropped some clients and it was liberating!! Perhaps not the same thing, but the change has done me good.

Ruth Schiffmann said...

Sounds like you made the right decision, hard as it was. Listening to my heart, and trusting it, is something I'm still learning to do. And it's definitely not always easy.

I'm a new follower here, btw. Nice to meet you, Karen.

Tracy Moore said...

You are so right about this Karen. All of last year was a lesson for me about letting go. It was amazing when I looked back and truly saw how much time I had spent exasperated and exhausted. I'm glad that you were able to take your energy back! My energy is telling me that I had one last thing to let go of...and I finally have. Sometimes it's hard to take off the rose colored glasses...see things as they really are...and how it has been negatively impacting your life. Great post my friend :)

Tonja said...

I think sometimes letting people go is the right thing to do. It's hard though. If it feels right to you, then you did the right thing. It's nice you did it with kindness.

Karen Walker said...

Tracy Jo, it is a real gift to be able to tune into and listen to your body. I am sorry you had to learn it through an illness.
Diane, it's the same thing, my friend.
inluvwithwords, thank you for the visit, comment and follow. Nice to "meet" you as well.
Tracy, good for you. It is not an easy thing to do, this letting go business.
Tonja, Being kind was one of the keys because this person told me I was being hostile, yet there was another person there who said that wasn't true. It was more evidence for me that this was a toxic relationship.

Melissa Ann Goodwin said...

Came by to wish you a Happy New Year. You always write about such meaningful things, with such integrity. I love that. Oddly, I had a similar situation in December with someone - not a close someone, but still. Like you, my energy was so discombobbled until I made the break, and then I felt great. Aside from that, I'm entering 2012 feeling freer and lighter than I have in years. Let's hope it sticks!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Karen .. that sounds like a very good move - leaving your slate clean and ready to go in 2012 .. well done.

Now things will start coming back into focus and insecurities will fade as the day length increases - our energy does too I find.

Happy New Year .. and enjoy the year ahead .. your folk dance evening sounds fun .. cheers Hilary