Okay, my telling the truth Tuesday segment has been about telling the absolute truth. That doesn't mean I have to share every deep, dark secret I have. Oops, I've already done that in my memoir. But it does mean that if my telling the truth might help someone else discover theirs, so be it. I'm willing.
I'm re-reading Gary Zukav's "Seat of the Soul" and in it he talks about intention. About how getting clear about our real intentions helps us be more in touch with our soul's desires. So I asked myself why I go and sing in public when, according to one of my best friends, "you don't have the best voice in the world."
The top intention was, it makes me happy. Underneath that was, it brings the audience joy. But there was another intention lurking underneath those two. The little girl who still lives inside me--the one who was sexually abused at 7 and whose daddy called her a whore at 7 because she wore lipstick at her first dance recital and quit dancing after that--desperately wants someone to admire her and say, "Oh, Karen, you have a wonderful voice. You are so good."
Recognizing that this was a core, unconscious motivation perhaps paved the way for the relaxation that came on Friday because I could honor the little girl who was so hurt and so desperate for that kind of attention, but know that as a 63-year-old amateur, that may never happen and that is not the right intention to have. I simply have to be me and let my light shine.
What are you intentions in your life?
Insecure Writers Support Group
Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here on Monday and Tuesday. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair.
"ONLY ONE THING IS MORE FRIGHTENING THAN SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH, AND THAT IS NOT SPEAKING IT." Naomi Wolf
"We are called human beings, not human doings."
Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
"The way to do is to be."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs..(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."