Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, December 17, 2012

Monday Musings - Trust

Are you a trusting person? I don't think I am. I am someone who tries to do what she says she's going to do. And if I can't do it, I let the person know I can't do it. I also try to be very honest with folks and speak my truth. But I don't always do it because I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings or I'm afraid they'll disappear from my life if I speak the truth. So I'm realizing that basically I don't trust.
I don't trust that others' are speaking their truth to me for the very same reasons I don't always share truthfully. I don't trust that others' will do what they say they will do. I don't trust the reasons people give me for not doing something. As someone close to me told me recently, I make up my own stories about the whys and wherefores. Which makes sense, since I'm a writer. But it doesn't make sense in the real world.

How do you discern whether someone is being truthful? How do you learn to trust yourself enough to speak the truth and trust the outcome, whatever that may be?

How about you? What are you musing about today?


Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

Oh, that's a tough one. I'm one of those who doesn't like rocking the boat, so I bite my tongue a lot. But I have many in my family who are very blunt and always speak the truth (perhaps whether they should or not!) I think that we don't always need to say what's on our mind...and that's the way I approach life. If it were something important, I'd probably speak up. But I usually won't because I like things to remain static--much easier for me than change of any kind, especially relationships.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

If it's not going to change the world, why say anything?

I admit I'm a rather trusting person.

Luanne Smith said...

I can be guilty of assuming things about other peoples's motivations, which is really just my insecurity coming to the surface.

Tonja said...

A lot of times when people let me down, it turns out that it has to do with something going on with that person's life that I didn't know about. Hurts me worse when people don't trust me to tell me when they're having problems.

Karen Walker said...

Elizabeth, that sounds like a very wise way to deal with this issue.
Diane, but what if it can change a relationship - make it better?
Luanne, I work so hard at not assuming things, but I still catch myself doing it.
Tonja, yes, that is so true -

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I don't mind employing a little tact, but I can usually tell when someone is laying it on thick when they don't really mean it.

Karen Walker said...

Alex, can you teach me?

Susan Roebuck said...

I do trust people - like pilots!!! I couldn't get in a plane without thinking, "these guys are highly trained". But I also trust people in general because I get a "feeling" when I'm around someone who's a bit "iffy". I try and tell the truth, and usually make a mess of it if it hurts someone. If I know it's going to hurt, then I might not say anything at all. I also don't like to rock the boat - at least not intentionally!

Jemi Fraser said...

I'm generally truthful - as long as it doesnt' hurt someone. Then I tend to back away from it a bit.

I do tend to assume people are honest - and I've been burned more than once, but it's a hard habit to break!

Yvonne's World of Poetry said...

I'm a very trusting person I like to think that a person is telling me the truth. However it's hard not to hurt a person's feelings when the truth is told so I use my discretion.


Liz Fichera said...

Tough question. I have a pretty accurate "gut-feel" with people and can tell when they're being truthful. But if a person's actions don't match their words, that's a pretty good indicator too.