Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Friday, December 14, 2012
I was devastated. All my old issues flared up - she doesn't love me. What I want and need isn't important. And the bottom line - I don't matter. All I shared with her was that I was very disappointed because I had been looking forward to this project with her and it made me sad that we weren't going to do it.
As I processed my emotional responses, I realized that the filter through which I view the world is colored by that bottom-line core belief that I don't matter. I offer to help others, not out of the benevolence of my spirit, but because that will ensure that I matter. I try too hard at everything, because once again, that will make me feel like I matter.
So, I am working on shifting that core belief, which is not easy because it operates unconsciously. I need to train myself to recognize when those feelings kick in and catch them in the moment. In the meantime, I can learn a lesson from my friend who said no to our project because there were higher priorities in her life than me, which is a whole different thing than me believing I don't matter to her.