Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, June 25, 2012
The reason for this post is that all of these things have made me realize just how difficult and tricky friendship can be. Each of us faces the world with our own set of values, beliefs, coping mechanisms, personality quirks and ways of handling situations. This means there will be times when one or more of these things will clash with our friend's methods, behaviors, feelings. How we negotiate these clashes are what make a good friendship or a painful one.
I have learned through the years that I have to be honest about how I am feeling, even at the risk of hurting, upsetting or angering my friend. Most of the time, we can negotiate our way through this, but only by really listening to one another and trusting the process. This means having a willingness to lose that friendship, if the issues can't be negotiated.
What I now understand is some people don't live in the same emotional world I live in. They choose to either pretend nothing is happening, ignore what is happening and build resentments, or they are so unaware, they don't even realize something is wrong.
As I said, friendships are difficult and tricky. But so worth the effort to be fully present and learn to be compassionate and loving, perhaps after finding ways to process our resentments and anger. I'm working on this part. I do not want to sit in judgment on others. I have way too many things from my past that I am ashamed of to ever pass judgment on someone else's behavior.
How about you?
Friday, June 22, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Sorry I won't be able to visit many blogs this week, but I promise to catch up with everyone the following week. Till then,
Monday, June 18, 2012
My sister-in-law came to visit and we enjoyed her tremendously.
A teenage friend returns from a year abroad today and I am hoping to re-connect.
Deep conversations with several friends resulted in insights and awareness.
I realized the reason I have been resisting writing. I will have to go to a very dark place in order to write the next part of my novel and I really don't want to go there, but there's no other way but through. Now that I know what the resistance is, I am hoping to move through it (once all my company leaves, that is).
So, are you connecting--with yourself and with others?
Friday, June 15, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Five years ago I gave up dieting and hired a nutritionist. She taught me how to eat, factoring in my food allergies and sensitivities, likes, dislikes, etc. I'd lost 50 pounds and this last year, another 13. I am now skinny. But my mind doesn't think so. It still thinks fat. So when I go shopping, I still look for the larger sizes and when they swim on me, I am quite shocked.
Accepting such a huge change in one's appearance isn't easy. Yes, I am delighted at how I look and especially how I feel. Yes, I love putting on clothing and have it look good. But how am I to get my mind synced with where my body really is? It's almost as if I'm afraid to believe it - probably because I did it so many times before and always got fat again. But this time I've maintained for 5 years, so I think it's time I accepted this is it. Never going to go back to eating the way I used to. And I'm really into strengthening and toning my body as well.
Is your image of yourself accurate?
Monday, June 11, 2012
And yet, I've been coveting an I Pad. So I went to Apple and played with it. As I thought through what I would use it for and how much I would use it, I began looking at the I Phone instead. While there, a clerk told me the new I Pod Touch does exactly what the I Pad and I phone do, only it's not a phone and it's smaller.
Well, with the I Phone, you have to pay approximately $30 more per month on top of your current cell phone bill. I didn't want to do that. The I Pad would be another huge distraction for me, keeping me from other priorities that I'm not attending to, like WRITING.
So, I purchased an I Pod touch and am so tickled. I've figured out how to do I calendar. I enter my events on the computer and sync it to the I Pod and voila - my calendar gets transported with me. So cool!
I have a hard time allowing myself to purchase something just cause I want it - it used to be I had to need it before I'd get it. Now I'm learning to indulge myself a little bit.
Do you like gadgets and new toys? If so what? And how often to you indulge yourself?
Friday, June 8, 2012
From Zion, we went on to Lake Tahoe, then Yosemite and finally, Sequoia. I'd been to Lake Tahoe previously, but only spent a few hours there. This time, we drove around the entire lake, stopping here and there for views and a picnic.
|picnic at the lake|
|hiking in Yosemite|
|Vernal Falls in Yosemite|
|Bridal Falls in Yosemite|
|A coyote taking a stroll|
|Me standing on what is the circumference of a Sequoia|
|me and hubs by a giant Sequoia|
I will leave you with one last thought about our trip. While strolling through these magnificent, ancient trees, I received a message: Stand tall; be proud; you are majestic. I pass that along to all of you,
With many blessings,
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
I know exactly where my insecurity lies. I'm 63 years old. I see what other authors must do to find an agent and market their books. Self-publishing only increases the amount of work the author must do to sell books. I don't have the energy for that anymore. So I ask myself, why write if I'm not going to publish. I try not thinking about that at all and just write because I love it and because it feeds my soul. But that is not working right now.
So I wait. And hope the words will begin flowing again one day soon.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
On this trip we began in Moab, Utah where we visited Bryce Canyon, Arches, Zion, and Canyonlands. I'd been to Bryce and Canyonlands before, but Zion was new to me. Words can't describe it and pictures can't capture it, but here goes anyway.
|One of the many arches in Arches|
|Landscape Arch in Arches|
Monday, June 4, 2012
My poetry will not baffle you with phrasing that scholars award for academic genius and that can only be understood by those who wrote it. My poetry is for the everyday reader. In fact, it is even for those who don’t like to read poetry at all. Because it is real, stark and simple.
The poems in Fabric are no different. They explore specific moments in different people’s lives that are significant to whom they have become, the choices they’ve made. It’s about how they perceive the world around them, and how each and every one of their thoughts and actions contributes to the fabric of society. Perhaps you will even learn something new about yourself.
So, even if you do not usually read poetry, I urge you to give this one a go. Not because I want sales (though, they are fun!), but because I want more people to understand that not all poetry is scary and complex. Not all poetry is going to take you back to high school English, and not all poetry is going make you feel “stupid”.
You can still say to people that you don’t read poetry … I really don’t mind. Because if you read Fabric, you’re not reading poetry, you’re reading about people. And that’s what reading is about, yes? Living the lives of others?
She is the Co-Publishing Editor of Vine Leaves Literary Journal, and co-hosts the Homeric Writers' Retreat & Workshop on the Greek Isle of Ithaca, with Chuck Sambuchino of Writer’s Digest.
For more information about Jessica Bell, please visit:
Friday, June 1, 2012
I will have photos, hopefully by Monday, but for now I want to talk about coming home and getting back into routine. I managed to do everything necessary--laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, catching up on emails, phone calls, making appointment, etc. But my writing? Oy vay! I sit down with a block of time and---nothing.
I've thought of giving it all up--the writing, the blog, but that doesn't feel right. So I'm waiting, praying, giving myself some space and cutting myself some slack.
Do you love your routines? Do you have a daily routine? What happens if your routine gets disrupted?