Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group - January

It's that time of month again. Time for the Insecure Writer's Support Group, the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. If you haven't already met Alex, where have you been? Please go say hi to him here: http://alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com

It's just after the holidays and I was on holiday, so no writing. That's good in one sense because I have nothing to feel insecure about. On the other hand, it's kind of difficult to get back into the swing of things. Today is the first day of the year that isn't a holiday day. I wrote this post on Sunday, so I can't say whether I'll be able to work towards my goal of finishing my first draft this year. No, let me amend that. I will finish the first draft. And I'll do it way before the end of 2013.

I have been a deeply insecure person for most of my 63 years. That is changing. There is now a quiet confidence that has come with simply living life as long as I have. If I am listening to my soul and following my heart, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. It is when things interfere with that that I get into trouble. Where insecurity used to raise its ugly head, now I speak up and ask for what I need. I know I won't always get it, but if I am firm in my convictions, then I am sure I am doing the right thing.

Anyone see the movie Lincoln? It was so inspiring to me to see how Lincoln stood up for his convictions when he believed he was right and justice would be served. If we could only learn to resolve our differences without violence and bloodshed. Ah, but I digress and this is in no way a politically oriented blog.

Do you speak up for yourself when necessary? I am coming to believe it is at the heart of insecurity - not saying or doing what we need to do because of fears that we aren't good enough.



Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I loved Lincoln. Great film and a very inspiring one.

Hope you'll enjoy writing/finishing that first draft this year!

Murees Dupé said...

A fantastic post as always. I should speak up more and just say what needs to be said, instead of waiting for someone else to do so for me. I wish you all the best with finishing your first draft.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

You will finish that book this year. No giving up and no panicking, either.

Sheila Siler said...

I loved Lincoln, and I just saw Les Miserables yesterday. Both very inspiring in their own way. I try to stand up for what I need too - but it is still a WIP. Good luck on the new book!

jaybird said...

Happy 2013 Karen- I always relate to what you write so much! I find myself to be the type of person who will defend everyone who can't defend themselves, like the elderly, children, and animals. But when it comes to me, somehow, I always kind of roll over. Trying to change that, but it takes time.

And I agree, Lincoln was amazing.

Tonja said...

I learned to speak up for myself when I had my first child. I couldn't not speak up for her. It hit me in the face that I deserved the same.

Tracy Jo said...

I am just getting back to things too and trying to remind myself today...one thing at a time. :-) Always love your wisdom. You are right, when I started listening to my soul...not wavering in my own beliefs, I slowly gained confidence. Beautiful post.

Luanne Smith said...

I enjoyed Lincoln, too. Inspirational story for sure.

I think women sometimes have a hard time speaking up for what we want. Somehow we get programmed to put everyone else first, but I think as we get older we learn to become our own advocate. Then we get fierce. :))

Manzanita said...

Way to go on your writing. Hi-5. My daughter took me to a movie on Christmas day and gave me the choice of seeing Lincoln or Les M. I chose Les M. but she saw Lincoln the next day by herself and loved it too.
I've had to learn to speak up for myself. I didn't always but I can now.

Liz Fichera said...

I have not seen LINCOLN yet but it is on my To Do.

Happy New Year, Karen! I wish you all the best in 2013. :)

Karen Walker said...

Thank you all for these wonderful comments. I am sick again and heading to doctor. I will try to comment later, but can't promise. I think it's the flu this time.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Lincoln was awesome. Inspiration for all of us.
And bummer - don't have the flu!

Lexie C. said...

I love that quiet confidence that comes from living. I'm starting to feel that too.
Wonderful post :) I wish you peace and success in 2013!

Charity Bradford said...

Ah, I can relate to so much here. Part of the problem with not speaking up for yourself could be that you are a loving individual who feels responsible for other people's happiness. At least that's what I learned from a very wise person last year.

People like us get so busy taking care of others that we sometimes feel guilty for having our own needs and desires. I'm trying to learn that it's okay to speak up for myself, but by golly that's hard to do!

Here's to us and a more confident and assertive new year.

moonduster said...

I agree that it's important to stand up and speak up for ourselves. It's something I need to work on.

Make sure you take time to do things for yourself this year!

Monti said...

Nice post! I haven't seen the Lincoln movie but want to. Much of it was filmed in Petersburg not far from my art gallery.


Ciara said...

I'm not good at speaking up for myself, but don't have an issue when it comes to my kids. Total mamma bear. :)

Anonymous said...

I think you're right about needing to speak up for ourselves. I'm good at it in certain circumstances, but not in others. Anyways, great IWSG post!

Anonymous said...

Oh I'm all about speaking up for my rights! :)

Annalisa Crawford said...

I would fight until the ends of the earth for my writing, but when I'm face to face with someone who's attacking me personally, I find it very hard to stand up for myself. I'm not a good fighter, I flee!

Jess * Jessie * Jessy said...

I'm not a good fighter either. Why can't everyone just get along? :) Thankfully, I'm at the age where we usually do and I don't have to fight!

Diane Riggins said...

I can relate about the writing. I have found it hard to get started again after the holidays myself.

I set goals for myself that have helped in the first days of the new year. I hope to be able to stick to them.

Good luck with your writing.

sjp said...

For me its not the fear of not being good enough but the experience of confrontation, after a while its easier to bite your tongue and nod then to hold your convictions in a yelling match.