Welcome to Following the Whispers blog
Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.
“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf
“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt
Monday, January 14, 2013
Monday Musings: magical thinking
Joan Didion wrote a book called The Year of Magical Thinking in which she wrote about her journey during her husband's illness and eventual death. I was intrigued by the title because I spent most of my life living in a world of magical thinking. I thought I possessed magical powers that could make my parents stop fighting and love each other. I though my love could magically make my first husband a happy person and then, magically, he would love me. I seem to imbue others with magical powers as well. I see someone I admire. Someone who has a character trait or talent I would like to cultivate. And here's where magical thinking comes in. I think, first of all, that by having this person in my life, I can magically become like them. And secondly, I seem to ignore other traits that are perhaps not so wonderful.
This might go on for years, before my magical thinking begins to dissipate and I see things as they really are. Magical thinking is all right for awhile. But it only suspends the inevitable crash into reality. And the longer the magical thinking is allowed to continue, the longer and harder the eventual crash.
No one wants to be someone who sees everyone's faults. I certainly don't. But I want to see reality. I don't want denial to rear its ugly head so that I can pretend someone is other than who they really are, hoping that I will get whatever it is I think I need from them and not be hurt by those things I'm refusing to see. But you see, that never happens. I do end up hurt.
So I am working on my magical thinking. It's okay to live there while I am writing. Otherwise, not so much. How about you? Do you live in a world of magical thinking?