Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, April 8, 2013

Monday Musings: re-training

I made a huge discovery this past month. I uncovered a pattern in my life that whenever something really good happens, something bad follows. I've been into metaphysics for a long time and I have a hard time believing we create everything that happens in our lives because random things happen for no rhyme or reason. But if we have deep-seated core beliefs that we aren't aware of, then our subconscious does create or cause things to go along with those beliefs.

For a multitude of reasons, I developed a core belief that feeling joy was not okay. So when it bubbles up inside, something had to happen to suppress it.  I have fractured my ankle in 7 places after getting my college degree in my fifties; severely sprained my ankle after landing in Mexico to vacation with dear friends; torn my rotator cuff after planning a dream trip to Machu Picchu, etc. etc. etc.

I firmly belief that once you become aware of an issue or a pattern or a behavior, you can change it. I am now in the process of re-training my mind and body that joy is a good thing.

Have you ever had to re-train yourself?


Annalisa Crawford said...

I definitely had to retrain myself. I realised I was repeating the same mistakes over and over, and that we were falling into debt because of it. I had to learn to say no!

Anonymous said...

Yes I had to retrain my self many years ago, berevements bore their toil and life was just an existence.
I read some books found out what I could do about my situation and I like to think I'm a better person.


Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I work on retraining myself daily! Mostly in biting my tongue and taking deep breaths so I'll be patient. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Now that you know, you can stop the pattern. And stop hurting yourself!

Karen Walker said...

Annalisa, ooh, that's a great lesson to learn
Yvonne, I know, me, too - becoming who we were meant to become - it's wonderful isn't it?
Elizabeth, I have the impatience flaw as well - I hear you!
Alex, yes, that is the plan!

Matt Nyman said...

As part of my Buddhist path I am reading a book called "Just One Thing" by Rick Hansen. He also wrote an excellent book called "Buddha's Brain". Chapter 2 is called Take in the Good. Our brains are wired for negativity. That is what kept us alive - from an evolutionary perspective we were more interested or concerned with the predator in the bushes rather then the beauty around us. These tendencies are hard wired and need conscious attention to overcome. So, this week, I am concentrating on good things that are happening - not to become attached or clinging but to break tendencies.

Karen Walker said...

Hey Matt, wow, nice to see you here and thanks for this insightful comment.

Tracy Moore said...

Karen, I am discovering patterns of my own lately and trying to work through it...to change the patterns and beliefs which continue to sabotage the joy of living a full, rich life as the person who I really am inside...instead of the person who is a sum of my fears and experiences. Glad to see you discovering things about yourself that will help you to overcome what needs overcoming. :)

Pearson Report said...

Knowing what the problem is is half the solution, they say. The last bit is figuring out how to fix the problem.

You are definitely on the right path telling yourself that joy is a good thing, because it is and you deserve to feel it all the time.

As for me...I'm not sure why but I was born with that extra happiness gene and find joy part of my makeup.

I do get bummed out about things but my inner reserve of happiness and joy seldom leave me in a negative space for long.

It starts with believing you deserve joy and happiness - if your subconscious mind believes it your conscious body will comply.

I wish you continued success in your re-training.

With smiles and happy thoughts,

L.G. Smith said...

Oh, yeah, we all have self-defeating behaviors. My worst is listening to the negative dialogue that starts up in my head telling me I'm not good enough. I've gotten better at suggesting she shut up and sit down as I've gotten older, though. :)

LD Masterson said...

Well, I usually think of it as trying to break bad habits but I think I've spent much of my life in "re-training".

Claudia Moser said...

Food for thought, must consider your question!

Suze said...

'I firmly belief that once you become aware of an issue or a pattern or a behavior, you can change it.'

Yes! Sometimes even just acknowledging a thinking pattern and giving it some space to express itself mitigates a negative impact.

Manzanita said...

Jeez, I feel as if I should manufacture something but I don't think I do, at least not on a conscious level. I am sorry about your ankle and your shoulder. That must be one heck of a burden.

Boy, you've got me thinking. Perhaps I worked all that stuff out when I was younger and I've totally put it out of my mind now.

Karen Walker said...

Tracy, yeah, keep on going with that as will I
Jenny, you're lucky you have that extra happiness gene. Thanks for the kind words.
L.G. that's great -
Claudia, okay
Suze, awareness is such a huge part of the equation
Manzanita, you make me laugh - no, not everyone has these negative thought patterns - no worries - you're fine!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

We all have those destructive patterns, don't we? I know mine. I just need to do something about them.