Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Monday, March 10, 2014

Monday Musings - voices from the past

Most of you know I am on a spiritual journey towards healing and have been for most of my adult life. It is astounding to me that I am still having major shifts and insights. Tectonic shifts, actually. This time, I am not going to share specifics about those shifts, but rather tell you about a technique I've created that seems to really be quite powerful.

If you've read my memoir, you know I had parents that didn't really know how to parent and so they behaved in ways that were inappropriate and very damaging to a child. The technique I am using to undo some of that damage is this. I wrote out all the things I wanted and needed to hear from them. Then I went into Garage Band and recorded those messages as if it were them speaking. For example,  Karen, this is Mom...or Dad. Then I went on to have them say the things I needed to hear.

There's been a lot of tears, which to me is a sign of letting go. It's a fairly intense grieving process as I let go of the loss of all the years I didn't know the thing I needed to know. But all I have is now. And now is getting better every day. I am opening up in ways I didn't dream possible, particularly with my writing.

Do you have any helpful hints for dealing with painful voices from the past?


Anonymous said...

It's a good way to let go of issues from ones childhood. I wish you every success with it. I only had a mother as dad passed away when I was three, she was wonderful , but not all children are so lucky.
Enjoy your week Karen.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

This is an amazing idea. Truly. It must have felt so good to the heart and soul to be able to hear those words in this manner.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Therapeutic, yes. I'm not sure I could get through such a session though.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Glad that has helped you. God has helped me deal with the issues of my past.

Karen Walker said...

Yvonne, yes, having loving parents is very lucky indeed.
Optimistic, it does, although the grieving process is taking longer than I expected.
Diane, for me, if I'm in enough pain, I'll do anything to release it.
Alex, you are a very lucky man.

Anonymous said...

Karen I saw your comment about the grieving process: I think everyone has a different time for grieving, when my mother passed away I was heartbroken then a bombshell hit me three days later my husband was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer and within 2 months he too had left me. It took about 7 years to accept what the hand of fate had thrown at me, with the help of some books I was taught how to accept. It was only then I could start to live again without the two most important people in my life. You'll get there as you appear to be a string person. Good luck.

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

This sounds like a wonderful method to put painful memories behind us. Thanks for sharing, Karen.

Mason Canyon said...

Karen, what a great way to release those painful memories. Overcoming that will aid the healing process much.

Jemi Fraser said...

What a lovely way to approach those past hurts. I have a few kids in school who may benefit from this technique and I'm going to borrow it for them. thanks and best wishes!!

Karen Walker said...

Yvonne, yes, it's quite a revelation when you realize you never grieved something that happened 13 years ago.
Elizabeth, you are so welcome
Mason, yes, that is my hope
Jemi, oh that makes me so happy

Arlee Bird said...

Fortunately I don't have many painful voices from the past that bother me. Maybe I've just forgotten them or I changed in ways that make those once hurtful words not hurt anymore.

My technique for dealing with the painful voices and events is in a way similar to what you're doing. I turn them into stories. At least when I'm writing or dreaming the story, I can make things turn out any way I want to and I can be more analytical and aloof.

An A to Z Co-Host
Tossing It Out

mooderino said...

Most of the time people do and say horrible things because someone did it to them. I try to break the cycle by moving on. Doesn't always work but I take solace in that I won't be repeating their mistakes (although I may invent a few new ones).

Moody Writing

Carol Kilgore said...

What a great idea. I'm so glad it helped you. That's very encouraging.

Anonymous said...

Wow. That's inspired.