Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Telling the Truth Tuesday: Still changing after all these years

Paul Simon's song, Still Crazy After All These Years - has been on my mind. But I've changed crazy to changing. I was given an exercise to do last week - make a list of characteristics, personality traits, etc. that belong to me, my mother, and my father. It has been interesting to see what traits I learned from them and what are mine alone. I think the biggest one that is mine is that I have made it my life's work to overcome bad things that happened to me and to live my life being the best karen I can be. My parents were stuck in their stuff. Did nothing to improve their attitudes or behavior. And they were miserable. Makes me sad. I used to feel it was my job to make them happy. Now I know we can't make anyone else happy. We can only work on ourselves. I'm so glad I'm someone who wants to keep challenging myself to do and be better. So yes, still changing after all these years. With much gratitude, I might add. How about you?


Jack said...

It is hard, to get over hurts and things that had gone wrong in our lives. but it is rewarding to face them and learn to move on and not let them turn us bitter or miserable.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

We can't change others. They have to want to change. Sometimes people don't though, which is sad.

Robin said...

Like you, I feel like I am on this journey to better health. Physical and mental. I am not content to remain stuck in my illness or bad habits. I think that so long as we keep trying... WE WILL SUCCEED.

Bish Denham said...

I think that exercise is something anyone would use if they wanted to explore themselves. I also think it would be a good one to use when building a character for a novel.

Mason Canyon said...

Karen, I like your thoughts on this. We have to want to change and no one can change us but us. Sometimes it's hard to start that process, but once you do it just picks up speed and goes forward. Now I'll have Paul Simon in my head all day. :) And, oh how the song fits me.

jaybird said...

It's encouraging to hear your thoughts on how you didn't allow your parents negative behaviors, impact your own.

When something in life just isn't working out, why keep doing it if it only makes you more miserable? It's heart breaking to see how many people stay stuck in destructive patterns, and are miserable, but make no move to get out of it.

Arlee Bird said...

I don't know if Paul Simon's recent foray into the news limelight had anything to do with you thinking of his song, but it's a timely reference.

If we aren't changing it means we don't have any eye on a destination or a future goal. My changes are smaller these days, but still I don't want to be stuck in a state of nowhere. It's good to be receptive to change and to seek it. The world will leave behind those who aren't willing to change.

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Karen Walker said...

Jack, yes, it is very rewarding when something shifts and there is a different, healthier response.
Alex, yes, all true
Robin, yup, we will just keep getting better
Bish, great idea!
Mason, me, too - have the song in my head, I mean.
jaybird, yes, I find it heartbreaking as well.
Arlee Bird, yup, we will be left behind if we aren't willing to change.

Jemi Fraser said...

Change is indeed good! I love that you've been able to become so much stronger than the examples you've been given. You are Awesome!

Leslie S. Rose said...

The comment about your parents being "stuck" really hits home for me. My brother and I are always trying to get my mom unstuck about the past.