Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Telling the Truth Tuesday: friends and health

I don't know if it is a function of being older or what, but I have several people in my sphere that are facing life threatening health issues. It is scary and disturbing and upsetting and frustrating because it is hard to know what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say, whether to offer help, whether to back off, you get the idea. I know the most important thing is to be loving and compassionate and kind. And perhaps wait to see what they want and need. To those struggling, my thoughts and prayers are with you and please let me know if there is anything you need.



Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm sorry, Karen. Prayers for your friends.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I am sorry that your friends are going through these issues. They are lucky to have a caring person like you in their life though. In my experience, all people want is a person to listen and to be there.

Robin said...

I think that is all you can do. Show up. Tell them you love them. Offer kindness and encouragement. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but when you are scared and hurting, it is actually a big thing.

Murees Dupé said...

I am so sorry. Health problems are never easy. I wish you all the best through this tough time.

Suze said...

You are a good soul, Karen.

Karen Walker said...

Thanks for the prayers, Alex
Keith, I think that's true - listening is a fine art
Robin, it's huge
Murees, thanks
Suze, you, too, dear friend

Sharon Lippincott said...

Sometimes I hesitate even to call, not wanting to intrude on precious time or privacy. A note? A short email? A call to some one in closer touch who may know what (if anything) to do? Not easy when you are grieving for and with them. I so understand the helpless feeling.

Gina Gao said...

I am so sorry about this. I hope they get better!


mooderino said...

I think it's also tough for the other person to know if they should ask for help, whether it will an imposition or a burden. Can be quite a minefield. Not sure there's an easy answer to that one.


LD Masterson said...

It's difficult sometimes to know what to do, but praying for someone is never intrusive.

SittieCates said...

Being there counts a lot. Will also be sending prayers, too, for you and your friends.

Thanks for visiting my blog. Take care.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Karen - giving them your time is important ... being there, talking to them, sharing with them .. checking in to see 'their needs' - albeit I was there with my Ma .. she loved hearing from others ... we usually did by letter or email (which I read) as it was difficult otherwise as my Ma couldn't read properly ...

If they are capable - then some photos - and talk about their interests ...

It's being there .. don't wait away ... and even if they say no now, or not now .. go back again to check on in ..

Life continues as far as they are concerned ... they need to continue to feel a part of it .. obviously you'll understand when not to be there ..

Good luck - it's a difficult journey to travel with others .. have a peaceful Memorial weekend - Hilary

MS said...

It's always difficult when we have friends who are hurting. Like you I have struggled with what to do, how far to reach out, etc. I find that I project my own feelings into the desire to help.
I prefer privacy when I am sick or hurting, therefore I usually feel that I shouldn't bother people when they are sick. Later though I might find that they were lonely and wondering why no one came or called.
You have a lot of good advice in your post and in the comments.
Mary @ The View from my World