I haven't felt insecure in a long time. Frankly, that is a miracle. I have confidence in my manuscript. I don't have confidence in my ability to find a publisher. Maybe I am remembering the pain of the last time I went through this process with my memoir. For 1 1/2 years, I sent queries to agents and didn't succeed in finding one. I didn't know about small presses at that time, so that was the end of my attempt to traditionally publish.
This time I have a plan. I will submit to small presses for some months, not sure how many. I will know when the time is right to let that idea go and self-publish. The book doesn't easily fit into a specific genre so it won't necessarily be easy for it to find a home. But find a home it will. I am nothing if not tenacious.
It's a new feeling to believe in something I've created this much. My low self-esteem has kept me from being able to acknowledge accomplishments. I am going to take Tom Clancy's quote to heart: