Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Insecure Writer's Support Group - October

Yikes. It's October. Where did this year go? The older we get, the faster time flies. It's really scary.
Anyway, here we are at the first Wednesday of the month, which means another opportunity to share about our writing journey, thanks to Alex at www.alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com, who created this wonderful group.

I haven't written anything since my anthology came out. I'm not sure why. My energy has just been elsewhere -- on my singing duo, Sugartime, on becoming a grandma to twins in a few months, on travel. I debated about dropping out of this group, since it is called

the Insecure Writer's Support Group, but I realized that when who you are is a writer, you're a writer whether you're actually writing or not. What I mean by being a writer is that I think writers move through the world in very different ways than folks who don't write. For me, I'm all about the history (backstory) peoples' stories (characterization) and what has happened to them in their lives (plot). So, I'm not going to drop out. Instead, I'll talk about what I'm insecure about - my weight. I've gained 20 pounds over the last three years. For those of you who don't know, I spent most of my adult love somewhat obese. When I met my husband I weighed 183 pounds (I'm only 5'3) so that's pretty big.
I lost and gained many times since my twenties, but in 2009, I lost 60 pounds and kept it off for years. So when it started coming back on without me changing the way I'd been eating to maintain, it was very disturbing. Now it's even more upsetting. I realized my weight is just a symptom of a much deeper insecurity about my looks and how I feel about myself. So this is a good thing that it's reared it's ugly head again so that I can have an opportunity to heal it.

I am working with someone and am making slow but steady progress. Thank goodness I've done enough work on myself to know that how I look isn't who I am. And that who I am is a loving, kind person.

Anyway, I could probably write a book on this subject (ha, maybe that's my next writing project), but this is a blog post, so I'll end here.

What are you feeling insecure about in your life?


Patsy said...

I think it's natural to take a bit of a break after we've finished a big project. I'm sure it's good for us to do other things for a while and recharge our creative energy and enthusiasm.

Pat Garcia said...

Taking a break after publishing a project like Still Me...After All These Years is necessary. You have to regroup.
A break is not leisure in this case, it is a necessity.
All the best.
Shalom aleichem,
Pat G @ EverythingMustChange

Karen Walker said...

Thanks, Patsy and Pat. I know it's natural and necessary. I just don't know what's next.

Rachna Chhabria said...

Hi Karen, I've also been making very, very slow writing progress but I'm trying my best to finish two projects this year. Fingers crossed that I do it. Congrats on becoming a grandma to twins.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Once a writer always a writer. Never think you have to drop out.
You lost before, you can lose it again.

Nick Wilford said...

Yes, if you're a writer it sticks with you no matter whether you're currently writing or not. I loved your description of analysing the plot of other people's lives - I definitely do that! You've been getting up to a lot of other great, positive pursuits - celebrate those.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Karen - keep writing - it'll be therapy ... life is life - but I'm sure it will come right - it's in the mind - and your attitude is pretty good - take care and enjoy life - reminders of those travels - cheers Hilary

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

You're a writer because you look at the world through a writer's lens. Or maybe, considering your other artistic gifts, an artist's lens.

I don't know what I'm insecure about, but there's definitely something: I've had very repetitive, insecurity-oriented dreams each night lately.

Christine Rains said...

Once a writer, always a writer. And I agree with Hilary. Writing is therapy. It does help to talk to someone about things. Might give you some new tools to work with.

Jennifer Hawes said...

I'm always insecure at how long it takes agents to get back with you even if you have multiple agents viewing your work. UGH. I start to feel good that they are taking their time. Then I feel anxious, thinking they've forgotten about me!!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Writing is more than just writing a book.

Jacqui Murray said...

I like your takeaway--"once you're a writer, you're one whether you write or not." It's a mindset innit. Good post, Karen.

emaginette said...

I'd love to read about a character that isn't a size 10 (in Canada) and was doing something about it or at least learning to accept who she is. We're aren't all small in the real world.

I know you can do it. Why? Because you've done it once already. "\o/"

Anna from elements of emaginette

nashvillecats2 said...

One thing for certain is as you so rightly say is the older one gets so time passes faster. I have experienced that senario.
Loved the post Karen.


Karen Walker said...

Rachna, good luck
Alex, thanks for the cheering on!
Nick, thanks, you're right - there's a lot to celebrate
Hilary, yes - you're right!
Elizabeth, oh, dear, I hope you figure it out soon!
Christine, thanks
Jennifer, you're so brave to even try for an agent - I simply don't have the tine to wait
Diane, you are so right.
Thanks, Jacqui
Emaginette, yes, that would be lovely
Yvonne I know - I'm trying to live each moment more fully

Misha Gericke said...

I think it's a wonderful thing that you're seeing this as an opportunity to grow.

Jemi Fraser said...

I hear you on that weight struggle! I've gained back a few of the 40+ I lost and kept off. Starting to come off again - so that's a good thing for me :)

Natalie Aguirre said...

Yes, don't drop out. I have a contract writing job but just started writing personally about 2 months ago after 4 years of not writing. And have twin grandchildren will be a great reason to spend time with them instead of in front of your computer.

Glad you're making progress on your weight insecurity. I think most of us women have that one at various times in life.

Olga Godim said...

I don't think you can drop off from being a writer. It feels so intrinsic a part, almost like a facial feature. It's there, even if it is resting at the moment.
As for the weight problem - it doesn't matter, as long as it doesn't interfere with your health. Your weight doesn't reflect who you're. Your writing does, though.

Brandon Ax said...

Yes I agree we are writers no mater what we are doing.

Congrats on the upcoming twins.

A. B. Keuser said...

Once a writer, always a writer. We all do things at our own pace and when it comes down to it, you need to do whatever is best for you. And it sounds like you deserve a break in preparation for the new grandchildren.
Congratulations on the twins!

Joey Resciniti said...

You’ll write again, probably about your weight loss success story. Everything until then is just research!

Lee Lowery said...

Oh please! You will always be a writer. Soon to be grandma of twins? There's a mother-lode of stories to mine. I'm with you on the weight loss thing. Hubs had some major surgery last year and suddenly I realized I better get serious about my own health. Talk about a looooong work in progress. But it's all good. A year later, 10 lbs to my goal and I feel great. Hang in there! We all need each other to get through the good and the not so good.

N. R. Williams said...

I think most writers need to take a little time off. So, don't feel bad. Family always comes first.

I also struggle with my weight. There is a whole line of books that are really great and you will lose weight. They are good for the Weight Watchers program and diabetes too. Here is the link. https://www.amazon.com/Eat-What-You-Love-Diabetes/dp/1608822451/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1507174604&sr=1-1&keywords=eat+what+you+love+love+what+you+eat+with+diabetes

You'll find them at most book stores as well.

Karen Walker said...

I am always so blown away by this community. Everyone is so supportive. Thanks for all the kind thoughts and words of encouragement.

Diane Burton said...

I think my twins will come before yours. LOL DIL is due in early Nov. Whatever, I just hope they're all healthy.

Victoria Marie Lees said...

Taking breaks are a necessary part of life, I keep telling myself, but unfortunately I only take a break during vacation. Yet I'm constantly thinking about what to write, how to catch up, etc.

As far as liking yourself the way you are, this is crucial. Good for you to have your husband and someone else to help you pace yourself and keep your progress up. All the luck with it. You are truly beautiful!

Patricia Stoltey said...

Hi Karen -- some days, the gray and dreary ones, seem to trigger insecurity...but a day of sunshine makes it all better.