Welcome to Following the Whispers blog

Thank you so much for taking the time to visit. Hope you enjoy your stay. I blog here whenever I feel the need. This blog was created at the time my memoir came out, in February, 2009. Its motto was: creating a life of inner peace and self-acceptance from the depths of despair. Now, my focus is sharing this journey we call life.

“Only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth, and that is not speaking it.” Naomi Wolf

“We are called human beings, not human doings.” Wes Nisker, Buddhist teacher

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs…(And) if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” Theodore Roosevelt

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Telling the Truth Tuesday: my wedding video

February 24 was my 18th wedding anniversary. Hubby and I have a ritual - each year we go to dinner someplace special, come home, light the unity candle that was on the altar at our wedding ceremony and Thank God for the blessings in our marriage. Then we watch our wedding video. It is getting harder and harder for me to watch because so many people are no longer with us. And because I was 183 pounds. I'm only 5'3" so you can imagine how big I was. The positive is that it is a reminder that my husband loves me totally for who I am, not what I look like. That is a huge gift. Actually, both hubby and I look better now, 18 years later. Funny, huh?

So what am I trying to say? If my life were a movie, the main character is doing what a good character does--growing and changing. I just had an aha moment as I'm writing this. As writers, we are told we must have conflict in our story. The protagonist must have flaws and must overcome adversity. There is an arc to the story and there must be resolution at the end. What is that lovely latin term for that? Oh brain, please kick in. Sigh! Anyway, art really does imitate life. That is, hopefully, what a good life is--one where we overcome our flaws, experience conflict and overcome it, and grow into good human beings. Maybe if I begin to think of my life as a movie I can detach a bit more from the outcome.

Don't know if this makes any sense to anyone, this crazy train of thought. But that's the beauty of having a blog, isn't it?



Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Life's like a movie, write your own ending - wait, that's Rainbow Connection from The Muppet Movie.
Hopefully we all go through a good character arc.
And cool you both look better now than you did then. Most people do that in reverse.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

I love this ritual that you and your husband have every year!! When I get married, I want to have this ritual with my wife.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely thing to do each year. We didn't have a wedding video but still had our memories. We were married for 35 yrs and what wonderful year they were too.
May you have many more.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Karen .. so pleased for you .. that you've had those 18 happy positive years ...

Great ritual to remember each year .. and how great that you both look and feel better after 18 years ..

Congratulations - cheers Hilary

Mason Canyon said...

Happy Belated Anniversary. I love the ritual. It says so much about both of you and that love does last.

Robin said...

I totally understand what you're saying. Our lives are their own story. When we are in the middle of the conflict, it just feels like crap (pretty much like it does for a character in a novel), but when we overcome it... So many times it is actually just an Aha Moment. Sometimes it is just realizing that we are the captains of our ship and that the choices were always our own. Taking back our power. It sounds like you've been on a journey of taking back your power for a while. That makes for a glorious life (story).

Karen Walker said...

Alex, now I'll have to see that movie!
Keith, awww, now you just have to find that special someone - or have you already?
Yvonne, memories are so special, aren't they?
Hilary, thanks so much for the good "cheer"
Mason, thank you - in this case it sure has!
Robin, beautifully said!

L. Diane Wolfe said...

What a sweet thing to do for your anniversary. We were married at the Justice of the Peace in ABQ, but we did tape it - all five minutes of it! LOL

Cara H said...

My train of thought is way crazier than your train of thought. Congratulations on your wedding anniversary.

Liza said...

This line is an inspiration! "...what a good life is--one where we overcome our flaws, experience conflict and overcome it, and grow into good human beings."

So well said! I found you at Your Daily Dose. Glad I did!

Suze said...

You are so slender now I can't imagine that you were ever 183 pounds. Honestly, I can't even picture it. To me, you're the lovely, trim redhead I met every once in a while for coffee and I simply can't see you any other way.